Montana Fever

When I was writing my last entry, I had forgotten the request of "anonymous" to write about Hannah Montana. So here it goes.

My fascination with the Disney character started when I discovered a couple months ago that I somehow had Disney channel. I don't subscribe to cable TV so it seems that Time Warner inadvertently gave me one extra channel (They also gave me weather channel but that doesn't count.) So I made the best of it. I first started watching That's So Raven but then tired of the repetitive feel of the show. Zach and Cody is an absolutely horrendous show, and a snippit of High School Musical is enough to make me puke(Efron rhymes with pron)

What is so intriguing to me about the character Hannah Montana, and what makes me watch the show over and over, is her inherent psychological validity. The character Hannah Montana is a carbon copy model of "Miley Cyrus." The 14-year old is a teenage singing sensation and has a dad who records country music, not just in the Disney show, but in her real life as well. I am not saying that everything Hannah Montana does or says is true to life. But there exists no other Disney character who comes close to rivaling Hannah Montana's veracity.

I think partly what so convinces me that Hannah Montana is humanly tangible is Miley Cyrus's age. Her energy, enthusiasm, and sense of humor on the set appear so genuine because she has not yet adopted that detestable mask of affectation. Social interaction in high school breeds the air of deception and pretension, and Cyrus hasn't been infected yet. As an actress, she must tap into her role-playing ability and engage in some histrionics and hyperboles but there are moments in the show when she acts "out of character." She steps out of Hannah Montana and into herself. Facial expressions betray this the best.

Anyway, beside all this, I would really like to have a friend like Hannah Montana. It would be tons of fun.

In other news...

Lakers beat the Suns today, I'm pretty happy about that. Bynum is playing like he belongs.

No Rest for the Weary by Blue Scholars may be the sort of song bumping on my car that can ensnare my ideal Latina. Ensnare sounds sort of inhumane, lure would work.

Here's the money, or maybe you ain't used to me / cause you was depressed and now you abusin me

Ah I haven't updated in a while because of schoolwork. Well, the winter break is finally here and I sure made good use of it today after school. I started off by watching some Kobe videos on Youtube and then played Madden 03. Actually I'm not that thrilled about winter break for some reason. I'm not going to be doing anything special, and the days will just pass by quickly. In the last few days, I've been thinking a lot about the schoolwork to follow after the winter break and it's depressing. I hate it when I focus on the future instead of the present.

In the meantime I read this on Oxford alumnus Hana Kim's xanga:

Why it's Unfair For Girls
It's not fair for girls. When boy likes girl, but girl doesn't return boy the same feelings back it's the girl who looks like the douche in the equation. Why?

See, boys have this problem called "obliviousness." That means they have no clue when a girl likes or doesn't like a boy back. Which leads us to boys' next problem: "hopeful thinking." Not only are they completely unaware when a girl doesn't like them back, but they will feed their own minds with blind and mistaken hope that somehow they still have a chance with the girl. So, putting one and one together, you get oblivious boys with some unfortunate hopeful thinking.

That brings us to the second part of the equation: girl. So, oblivious/hopeful boy is continuously seeking out the completely uninterested girl. Girl is tired of being bugged. What is girl supposed to do?
A) Show him common courtesy. Smile and keep conversations surface.
B) Completely ward him off. Give him the finger. Make it clear she's not interested.
C) Nothing.

You'd think with such a variety of choices, surely there is a way out for this girl. But that's where you're mistaken. Any and every move that this girl makes out of disinterest for this boy from this point on will actually turn this neutral situation into complete disarray.

Problem with Choice A. As I said before, the boy is oblivious and hopeful. Any sign of common courtesy that this girl shows, the boys somehow take it as special treatment. The smallest gestures of etiquette that girls make, even little hings like letting him borrow a book, studying with him, writing on Facebook walls, making smalltalk on the phone.... it seems boys take these little things as a green light for them to increase their infatuation for the girl. All in all, the problem with Choice A is that if a girl shows even the slightest common courtesy, it slowly but surely leads the boy on. So, that might lead you to think, "Well, maybe you can just give him a quick sign to back off." But that leads us to the next problem.

Problem with Choice B. Boys don't seem to get catch "quick signs." It could be all that obliviousness and hope swamping their minds, but guys don't seem to catch clues when girls don't like them. When girls turn boys down for lunch, sign off on AIM right after he IMs her, fail to return his texts/calls.... From the girls' perspective, these should be enough to send the guy a sign that we are not interested. But for guys, these signs just seems to fly by over their heads. He reassures himself, "Naw, I bet she's just busy" or "maybe she just needs some alone time." So, you just keep on bothering us. It seems the only way we can really get you guys to see the picture and leave us alone is to completely turn into a monster by doing something drastic. Drastic incidences can include but does not limit to: yelling at you, writing a mean letter, flat out ignoring you, "the talk*", or beating you up. Problem of boy bothering girl is solved, but now the girl looks like a complete jerk.

So, in Choice A, girl is a douche for leading the boy on. In Choice B, girl is a douche because she has to resort to being a douche to get the message across to the boy. How about Choice C?

Problem with Choice C. Choice C is still flawed, but in my opinion it's still the best way to go as of now. In doing nothing and staying neutral in all interactions with the boy, the girl is able to keep a distance from the boy, but at the same time the friendship she has with him is still intact. Of course, the girl has to endure the pains of having him follow her around everywhere, lurking behind every corner in her life, but at least she doesn't look like a douche.

The true solution to this injustice of girls lies in the boy realizing the truth. By quitting in their hopeful thinking and snapping out of their obliviousness, boys can put an end to the tension in the relationship and still keep a peaceful friendship. It's really not that hard once you start thinking realistically and analyzing the facts for what they are, not for what you want them to be.

Boys: take the sign for what it looks like. Girls are not that complicated. When they like you, they'll let you know. In any other case, take it as default that they're not interested. Until you guys can make the change, us girls will just have to continue enduring these awkward relationships.


As one of my comedic heroes Russell Peters would say, "Be a man. Do the right thing."


*The talk is a confrontation made by the girl, in which the status of their friendship is discussed. Girl basically says, "let's stay friends," and the friendship is inevitably doomed.

-End of entry-

Considering that the entry has over 400 comments and 700 eprops (never get tired of em), it must have been sponsored on the xanga home site. Pretty cool, Hana. In regards to the content, I guess I have to agree. I never really thought about it that way before. Girls do have it hard sometimes. They have to deal with undeserving guys who pester them, and efforts to do something about it strain what was previously a good friendship. I can look back and see how I perpetuate this dilemma. But hey, we guys don't have it so easy either. Our potent hormone production and enduring primitive instincts affect a lot of the things we do. Anyway from my perspective, I think choice A is better than the rest because it saves the friendship.

Speaking of friendship, I don't know why myspace hasn't added a matchmaker function on the website. I think many users will be intersted. This is my plan for how it would work: you will be able to see which people not on your friend list appear frequently on the friend list of your friends. Then you will be able to select the strangers you want to meet. If the stranger also selects you, then a message will be sent to both users. Of course, meeting a new friend does not always equate to dating. But making new friends certainly increases your chance of getting a boyfriend/girlfriend. Warning: side effects include depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling exploited, and increased chance of rape.

Btw... How many girls in the junior class who are not dating were asked to winter formal this year? The number is tiny compared to last year's, and I'm not sure why.

Toying with the Nervous Center

The human thinking process is fascinating. There are times when my subconscious will briefly net in some strange tidbit of life and then release it just as quickly. It may be a certain impression of someone, a brief emotional flutter, or a new opinion of an issue. In a span of what seems to be only a millisecond, I will have this jumbled up epiphany and then fail to hold on to it. It's sort of like trying to do 3 by 3 multiplication in your head and not being able to recall the numbers you already figured out. I wish I could think slowly and patiently in these situations.

One interesting exercise I'm capable of doing is briefly forgetting who I am. By this, I mean forgetting that I am a student at Oxford Academy who lives in Southern California who looks the way I do and does the things I do. It is a self-inflicted amnesia. When I became aware of this ability, I tried to consciously forget to see if I could do it. It is extremely difficult. I've done it about five times so far, and it's becoming harder. But the feeling is really otherworldly. You have to be deeply daydreaming about things and then reach so far into your imagination that you forget you who you are. The duration of the amnesia lasts about a second or two and then it takes about three seconds to fully retrieve my memory. During this recovery period, I often look at the palms of my hands and then my surroundings (like homework assignments due the next day) and then slowly gather myself.

The brain is supposed to be constantly aware of itself so I am trying to see what would happen if this is changed. I'm hoping that this will yield unique insights. But is this also related to the fact that my memory has been deteriorating?

Bizarre.

Mumblings

I found this picture of Period 6 Intro to Business from last year. Good times. Haha I love Andrew's pose.

Man, the Lakers are losing 70-51 to the Utah Jazz at halftime right now, and it's really pissing me off. Kobe's owning, but the Lakers never play defense. The Jazz don't even have Okur and Boozer and they still put up 70 points in two quarters. Lakers always seem to be the team that lets an opposing player break out of a slump or have a career day. Bruce Bowen and Bonzi Wells come to mind. And now Paul Millsap...

I still can't get over the fact that people in our class played Mormon Kissing Game last day of our sophomore year. It's something that's been bothering me on and off. It's not that I am morally opposed to it, it just simply feels out of character. The goal of the game is to wrestle someone down and force a kiss on the cheek... Maybe I am not yet too familiar with American culture.

Jazzy by MF Doom and Madlib is absolutely amazing. It's definitely jazzilicious and has the perfect vibes for smoking a joint (if you wanted to). For some reason, it also reminds me of the night scenery. Oh, and the song "Candyland" by Soul Position. Talk about walking down memory lane.

I wonder about what it will be like if right now I suddenly moved to another part of the world. Maybe even another state in the U.S. What fascinates me is the opportunity to create a new identity for myself. I could make myself out to be whatever I wanted in these new surroundings, and no one would object because no one would know about my past. It's interesting how my identity is so closely tied to my society and peers. I wonder how many people would like the chance to craft a new identity.

And finally... everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those days. <3

Dear Friend

This is long overdue, but I didn't have the comfortable anonymity of a blog to say it before. I also realized that I never thought seriously about what I have to be thankful for. Right now I have The Park by Cunninlynguists spinning on my winamp so I think this is a good time to do it.

So I don't really remember how I got to know you better last year but it sort of happened gradually and I am glad it did. Last year was really special for me, almost as if I was waking up from the Oxford lull. It was definitely a year to savor and treasure, one that will not ooze into my memory as a muddled mass of gelatin. It's really been a while since I've had so many memories to look back on. Actually it's not so much memories as being aware of your benevolent spirit. You are really a good person, and there is no other way to put it. Your sense of humor, taste in music, fun-loving personality, I appreciate all of it. We hardly talk anymore but I always feel like we are still good friends, we just don't need to constantly communicate to confirm that. I will always be able to share anything with you, and I hope you feel the same way. Thanks for everything.

In other news...

-Where in the world is Trevor Ariza?

-It seems that the night air has a distinctive smell, at least where I live. It has tinges of a smoky bonfire and the fresh fragrance of trees.

-Rachel was right that the song was Misery Business. But I looked up the lyrics to the song and lost all positive feelings for it. It seems to be a vengeful girl who is toying with an innocent guy and quite frankly bragging about it. I feel so exploited now... (insert Sam Kim's face expression here)

Thanksgiving Break

So I've noticed that James and Peter have been updating their blogs so I guess I will too.

Today is the start of a four-day weekend but it's not overly exciting because I didn't have much to do the first three days anyway. The Career Day at Anaheim Convention Center was pretty interesting. The neurologist there said the job pays a starting salary of about $120,000 a year and then said it was on the "low-end" of doctor's salary. I don't know, $120k seems pretty hefty to me. Since it was a gathering of all high schools in the AUHSD, I was obviously on the lookout for latinas calientes. There was a couple but I had no chance to interact with them at all.

After school I played tennis with a friend from Cerritos. Lately I've been watching slow-mo videos of Nadal's forehand to try to copy it, and today my forehand was indeed a lot better. But then no matter how good my forehand is, it goes back to square one as soon as I take a serve. My serving grip somehow screws up my forehand grip, it pisses me off. I don't even know if I can play tennis this year...

As I was driving back from tennis, I heard a song on the radio by a group called Paramore. I have no idea what it's called but it sounded really good at that moment. It was a combination of pop and rock (which I guess gets a vague label named indie). I always express my disdain for rock bands and their horrible names and usually indulge in underground hip-hop, but this one was not bad. I slowed down as I approached the parking lot to hear more of the song. It was uplifting.

Thanksgiving? I don't celebrate it... Might just play hold'em and go to Chinese restaurant with other Squanto faithfuls.

I noticed that all of my posts so far have been gloomy so I was determined to write something more uplifting today. But alas, there came along a special occasion to change all that.

My mom was going to be rather busy today so she decided to wake me up very early. She has a number of powerful dream-shattering devices in her arsenal including a cassette tape of the most depressing and raucous classical music in existence, but today's treat was different. It was the front page of the Sports/Entertainment Section of a Korean newspaper called Joong-Aang-Il-Bo.

"Kobe Soon Divorce!" read the gigantic headlines (in Korean, of course) that accompanied even a bigger picture of smiling Kobe with his wife and daughter. I was stunned. How did I miss this news? No one told me about it. I immediately went to the Yahoo Sports site. There were trade rumors about Jermaine O'Neal coming to the Lakers, but no Kobe divorce. I went to Espn.com site. Trade rumors about Jermaine, but no Kobe divorce. These guys had serious problems with their priorities or...

I went to the yahoo search engine and typed in "Kobe divorce." The first result was an article from August of 2003. Uh oh. Then I finally saw it, "KCBS-TV Website Takes Down Bryant Divorce Report." It turns out that the television network hastily published a report from another source about the Kobe situation on its website and then took it down. There is no doubt that the story was taken down because it was unsubstantiated. Maybe Kobe wasn't going to get a divorce after all.

My guess is that the reporter for the Korean newspaper saw the report on the KCBS website and then translated the news in Korean. Then what does this mean? If Kobe doesn't get a divorce, the Korean newspaper is screwed. Actually, it's already well into the screwed stage. It appears to have the honor of being the only publication to print the story about Kobe's divorce. On the front page of the sports section. Last time I checked, Kobe has a pretty decent lawyer.

I had long ago detected this dysfunction in the publication. A startling number of the articles that are published are straight from other sources. Instead of using its own reporters and resources to find stories, it relies on American newscasts, newspapers, magazines, and in this case, news websites. This seems to be the case for predominantly the Sports & Entertainment (why would you even group those two together?) and the News section. Its methodology may be convenient for readers in that it provides translations of the stories that major news publications in the U.S. agree are prominent and important. But in this case, it backfired horribly.

I wouldn't be surprised if Kobe sues the newspaper. If he does, the best kimchi recipes will run elsewhere.

Haven't been here in a while. Honestly, I've forgotten about it.

I must've been looking pretty weary on my way to class at Cypress College today because a guy leaning near the doorway asked me if I wanted some weed. I was going to ask him if he meant seaweed and then decided against it after seeing his stature.

Marijuana. The word itself is "dope." Non-native English speakers will definitely pronounce it "mari-jewana." And depending on how forcefully they accent a particular syllable, they could offend some people. Trust me, I saw it happen.

Marijuana, if not the rest of the species of the drug family, seems to be prevalent among teenagers. I have no research findings to back it up, but I think the use of marijuana among teenagers has increased in the last decade.

Marijuana use is only a single outgrowth of the trend of hedonism. Sex, music downloads, and outings to the beach are others. In a society that is ever more capitalistic and competitive, hedonism's only to be expected. Children are getting smarter, schools are getting tougher, and life is getting harder. Why should we put in the time to do homework and study at all, students ask. Society manages to keep us playing this cruel game only by dangling a piece of meat in front of us--future success. But some of the more antsy students will look into the future and realize that a third of their life is spent just for the POSSIBILITY of fulfilling their fantasies. For those of us who lack the superb lyricism of Nas, the world is not ours yet.

Hedonism explains why we procrastinate when we have work to do, why we indulge in wonderful, unrealistic daydreams. But as most of us have experienced, the goal of hedonism is hardly attainable, much less maintenable. The sensation is fleeting at best, and that's only if you let it sneak up on you. Whenever it detects the presence of our consciousness, it vanishes.

Of course, hedonism couldn't be the only dominant force in society. Hedonism could make humanitarianism possible, but rarely innovation and progress. Sure, inventions and new technologies may be the products of men's indulgence in their creativity and yearning for monetary rewards. But I feel that a greater cause must account for their ingenuity and perseverance. It was their sincere desire to explore the world around them and learn. It was their insatiable curiosity about life, its biological, chemical, social, psychological, and philsophical meaning. They observed the world carefully and pored over the works of renowned predecessors to make some sense of the great mystical ball that is life.

Therefore, I believe that the changes that the educational institution has undergone are correlated with the rise of hedonism. Today's cutthroat college admission process and plethora of standardized testing only serve to veer students away from the true process of learning. A pressure-free environment to discover the world and look into oneself is furnished only during our childhood years, when we do not possess the ability to conduct abstract reasoning. A growing disconnection with nature is evident. Learning becomes a loathed activity, a stepping stone that leads to job opportunities but holds little significance in itself. Formal schooling does not let us experience the true joy of learning, that strange flutter that inspired the greatest of human beings.

Add me to the list of angry idealists.

Oh, and for some interesting news in sports... Eddy Curry of the New York Knicks was robbed at gunpoint... Authorities have stated that the conspirators were not members of the Knick organization... Also, in a bold move to reassert his authority, Mitch Kupchak signed the son of Coach George Karl... Later at a press conference with Andrew Bynum at his side, Kupchak affirmed that he was not aware of Kevin Garnett's availability...

Jail Bonds

Well, he needs only two more now.

Big-bogus Barry Bonds is at home run #753, two shy of Hank Aaron's record.

When this bulky blundering wad of artificially injected testosterone was introduced at the All-Star Game, he received a long standing ovation. Well, of course. It was at San Francisco. But the level of disillusionment of the Giants fans is quite astounding. They wholeheartedly embrace a disgrace to the game of baseball, champion an arrogant cheater.

I like to consider myself less critical of celebrity conduct than the Average Joe. Mel Gibson's confession to hating Jews and Tom Cruise's scientologistic romping on the Oprah Show would translate into beautiful one-liners on a diss track, but they don't warrant any further discussion. Celebrities constantly contend with stress and pressure for all the time they are under scrutiny of mass media, and it is only human that they show flaws.

I forgave Kobe Bryant when he cheated on his wife because he made a human mistake and he apologized. But I could not stand by him when he publicly ridiculed his teammates and front office. He committed the latter of the two unforgivable celebrity sins: 1) Intentionally or knowingly cause harm to others and 2) Disrespect your job.

Bloated Barry would fit nicely into the second. By bypassing the strenuous workouts in the gym and endless practices on the field that all other responsible athletes undergo to become better ball players, Bonds is violating the #1 principle of sports--to have fun. We developed sports to enjoy ourselves, to take a break from hunting and gathering, to seek relief from overbearing lords and barons, to escape the filth and grime of industrialized cities. As cliche as it sounds, we play sports to have fun, not to win.

Giants fans, however, don't recognize this so it is my hope that Bonds hits the historic long ball at Dodgers Stadium. I don't want to miss the thunderous jeers broadcast on KCAL9.

The last few days, I've found myself lost in reveries of my childhood. And no matter how hard I try to deny it, those were the happiest days of my life and will remain so.

Where I grew up in Seoul, Korea was an odd juxtaposition of the rural and the suburban. It had its share of cars, fastfood restaurants, apartment complexes, and tutoring academies. A few months before I immigrated, I remember witnessing a budding multi-city construction project that would install a public railway system across several mini-cities.

But what I remember most about my childhood is my interaction with Mother Nature. The four seasons came to knock on my door every year, and even as a toddler, I could immediately tell one guest from the other. The transition between winter and spring always enchanted me. I knew that spring had arrived when I woke up in the morning to the scent of growth, trees clothing themselves in green and fresh dirt softening from a light drizzle.

Autumn was my favorite season because the dragonflies came. Actually, they came in the summer, but they were always too busy and alert for my dragonfly net. It was when yellow and red imbued the hillside that the game began. The hills were my playground. From my house, it was about a 15 minute climb to the highlands. The world above had mainly grass, trees, and flowers. But the plain was huge, large enough to accommodate soccer fields, basketball courts, and some exercise equipment. It was the greatest gift a boy could have.

Grasshoppers, butterflies, and ladybugs were plentiful in the autumn, but it was the dragonflies that captivated me. I had a dragonfly net (small supermarkets sold them, they are long sticks with a net at one end), and I went every day to the hills for several years to catch dragonflies. I think that catching the first dragonfly, a gentle one with a bright red tail and translucent wings, was the happiest moment of life. At the end of the day, though, I always released the dragonflies back into the wild from my insect cage. I never took its life.

Nature has a way of soothing the human soul. Lakes and streams fill the ear with gentle murmurs. Mountain air cleanses the lungs and breathes life into the body. I am blessed to have grown up with nature's nourishment. If I could have one wish, I would have those hills again, next to my apartment in La Palma. Oh, and it would be a hell of a hangout for friends and couples.

Blog

Well, let's see how long this will last.