Surk14 (9:18:29 PM): well hmm let me try to explain
Surk14 (9:19:05 PM): it's sort of how when you do heroin, it gets less and less pleasurable
Surk14 (9:19:18 PM): and you are always reaching for that first high
Surk14 (9:19:23 PM): but you always fall short
Surk14 (9:19:49 PM): falling in love is always a delusion
Surk14 (9:19:57 PM): but you buy less and less into it as time passes
Surk14 (9:20:23 PM): i think delusion is not an accurate word
Surk14 (9:20:50 PM): it's more that your ability to perceive and understand the girl in relation to you is deteriorating
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Today is Pepero Day
A friend informed me that my last post about suicide was featured on a site called suicidegirlsmeetup.com. I went on the site and wasn't able to determine exactly what it was. It is basically a compilation of various articles and blog posts, but they don't all seem to deal with suicide. I don't know about you, but "suicidegirlsmeetup" is screaming cult at me. I hope my post does not somehow encourage girls to take their own lives. I hope the second part of my post, dealing with the hypnotic movement of letters etched across their butts, convinces them that seducing men with such clothing is worth living for.
I've been doing a lot of thinking about my life and future recently. I don't really know what to think of my life. My happiest days were childhood, that's for sure. Growing up in a small town in Seoul, Korea, I was blessed with a natural playground in the mountains that overlooked my home. Starting at the age of five, my friends and I made our way up the gentle slope, exploring uncharted territories and admiring the changing seasons. I spent time in nature practically every day, whether it was catching dragonflies or collecting maple leaves in autumn.
There are many people who have an irrational belief that nature can solve their problems and give them happiness, and I am one of them. I really think if we spent more time in nature, it can strengthen our physical, spiritual, and psychological health. Humans are animals, and animals' natural habitat is nature. We are not meant to live the way we do here. I don't know how I would have turned out if it weren't for my childhood. Spending time on those mountains- seeing, hearing, smelling, and touching- gave me much to endure the passionless living I lead today. You know what I love about weddings and big family dinners at my cousin's? Looking at all the scenery outside the car window as I am getting there. Sometimes I see a stretch of vast brown sea, all hills and short grasses and little shrubbery. I just want to get out of the car and walk around. Yes, I need a greater connection to nature here. Can I get a lake or a mountain somewhere in La Palma?
I guess the ancient builders of our civilizations might not have entirely discounted the fact that we are animals. After all, the city was traditionally a place for people to gather and interact with each other, and people are part of nature. But that reminds me - I lack human contact as well. A few weeks or months ago, I put up a poll asking whether you feel lonely or need someone to talk to. Ten out of eighteen people said yes (it feels good to cite my own study though the methodology is questionable). With Internet and technology, we are more connected than ever yet we are in need of intimate and genuine human relationships, perhaps more than ever. For me, the problem is that I simply don't invest enough time in my relationships. Friendships are a lot of work. You have to talk to your friends and get to know them. It's not about asking for help on homework or making small talk as you're standing to buy your dance ticket. It's about taking time out of your life solely for the purpose of spending time with your friends. Watching movies or playing video games with friends doesn't really count; there is still little interaction between you and your friends. When's the last time you sat next to a friend and just talked? It's been a while since I've done that. I'm going to try to spend more time with friends, talking to them by the locker or going out to eat.
Recently I've been talking to Isaiah Chang online, and for those who don't know yet, it turns out he's studying abroad in Italy. I think everyone who's had a chance to meet Isaiah appreciates his sense of humor, but I've always thought he was a special guy. He really lives life to the fullest. I mean the fullest. He is never afraid to try anything, and he wants to try everything. I remember last Halloween, he and Tony Robinson completely shaved their legs for their trick-o-treating venture. And now studying abroad at Italy where there is no one else who speaks English or looks Asian. I don't think I have the courage to do that. Isaiah is staying with an Italian family and meeting hot Italian girls, and not surprisingly, he is quite enjoying himself. I admire his adventurous spirit and hope I, too, can let myself go one day. Meanwhile, while he's in Italy, I was hoping someone could bring a laptop to school so we could talk to him via webcam. Like the Cisco Human Network commercial. And here is the link to his blog which he updates frequently:
www.unibeefly.blogspot.com
Speaking of hot girls, I have rediscovered my passion for Latinas. I realize that I have not rationalized and justified my discriminatory love quite yet- I think I will save that for one of my dreamier moods on a rainy day. But at the moment I am trying to find a buddy icon that aptly portrays my ideal Latina. First, it was "Latina mami," a sultry animated doll wearing a crimson tanktop (midriffs, yay!) and stylish black hat. Then I changed it to "Latina hunnie," a more proportional figure donning lavender splendor. And finally, I found an attractive and somehow intellectual, demure, and confident Latina, but it was all spoiled by the stereotypical sign "Chica bonita." Is it possible to instill a computer image with virtues of kindness, sense of humor, integrity, poise, and grace? If so, I need a new buddy icon.
I live in a second-floor apartment home and from the window in my room, I can see the top of garage roofs outside (the garages that are not attached to buildings). It's always interesting to see the objects that are sitting on the roof. There's a screwdriver, some random black stones, a walking stick, and then a book. The black stones and walking stick you can kind of figure out how they got there. Some kids were bored and decided to chuck them. But a screwdriver and book? I wonder who might have thrown those up there and why. Maybe people just wanted to see what those objects look like on top of a roof. I mean I think it's pretty cool. And we all like to know we exist sometime. Maybe they chucked them up reveling in their small rebellion against society and convention, convincing themselves of the symbolic significance of the objects and their actions, and finding delight in their own little secret. Hey, that's probably how gangs started hanging shoes on telephone wires. And people started peeing in the shower and writing postcards about them. That's weird, though.
And to finish off this post, I proudly present to you the first American rap music video ever to feature an Asian lady. Now I don't know about you, but I think she is pretty hot (she gets a 9 on my Mohs scale hehe). Ok, she really deserves more footage though. And something other than serving drinks to black women. Test your concentration and attention to detail by counting the number of her ultra-brief appearances, including flashes of her anatomy, in the first 90 seconds of the video. She first appears at 0:32. Answers are at the bottom.
7 Times.
(0:31.5-0:33)
(0:37-0:38, behind Nelly's head)
(0:47.5-0:48, right of Ashanti)
(0:57-0:58, left of Nelly)
(1:15-1:15.6, right of Ashanti)
(1:20-1:22, serving drinks)
(1:28-1:28.22, passing by Akon)
I've been doing a lot of thinking about my life and future recently. I don't really know what to think of my life. My happiest days were childhood, that's for sure. Growing up in a small town in Seoul, Korea, I was blessed with a natural playground in the mountains that overlooked my home. Starting at the age of five, my friends and I made our way up the gentle slope, exploring uncharted territories and admiring the changing seasons. I spent time in nature practically every day, whether it was catching dragonflies or collecting maple leaves in autumn.
There are many people who have an irrational belief that nature can solve their problems and give them happiness, and I am one of them. I really think if we spent more time in nature, it can strengthen our physical, spiritual, and psychological health. Humans are animals, and animals' natural habitat is nature. We are not meant to live the way we do here. I don't know how I would have turned out if it weren't for my childhood. Spending time on those mountains- seeing, hearing, smelling, and touching- gave me much to endure the passionless living I lead today. You know what I love about weddings and big family dinners at my cousin's? Looking at all the scenery outside the car window as I am getting there. Sometimes I see a stretch of vast brown sea, all hills and short grasses and little shrubbery. I just want to get out of the car and walk around. Yes, I need a greater connection to nature here. Can I get a lake or a mountain somewhere in La Palma?
I guess the ancient builders of our civilizations might not have entirely discounted the fact that we are animals. After all, the city was traditionally a place for people to gather and interact with each other, and people are part of nature. But that reminds me - I lack human contact as well. A few weeks or months ago, I put up a poll asking whether you feel lonely or need someone to talk to. Ten out of eighteen people said yes (it feels good to cite my own study though the methodology is questionable). With Internet and technology, we are more connected than ever yet we are in need of intimate and genuine human relationships, perhaps more than ever. For me, the problem is that I simply don't invest enough time in my relationships. Friendships are a lot of work. You have to talk to your friends and get to know them. It's not about asking for help on homework or making small talk as you're standing to buy your dance ticket. It's about taking time out of your life solely for the purpose of spending time with your friends. Watching movies or playing video games with friends doesn't really count; there is still little interaction between you and your friends. When's the last time you sat next to a friend and just talked? It's been a while since I've done that. I'm going to try to spend more time with friends, talking to them by the locker or going out to eat.
Recently I've been talking to Isaiah Chang online, and for those who don't know yet, it turns out he's studying abroad in Italy. I think everyone who's had a chance to meet Isaiah appreciates his sense of humor, but I've always thought he was a special guy. He really lives life to the fullest. I mean the fullest. He is never afraid to try anything, and he wants to try everything. I remember last Halloween, he and Tony Robinson completely shaved their legs for their trick-o-treating venture. And now studying abroad at Italy where there is no one else who speaks English or looks Asian. I don't think I have the courage to do that. Isaiah is staying with an Italian family and meeting hot Italian girls, and not surprisingly, he is quite enjoying himself. I admire his adventurous spirit and hope I, too, can let myself go one day. Meanwhile, while he's in Italy, I was hoping someone could bring a laptop to school so we could talk to him via webcam. Like the Cisco Human Network commercial. And here is the link to his blog which he updates frequently:
www.unibeefly.blogspot.com
Speaking of hot girls, I have rediscovered my passion for Latinas. I realize that I have not rationalized and justified my discriminatory love quite yet- I think I will save that for one of my dreamier moods on a rainy day. But at the moment I am trying to find a buddy icon that aptly portrays my ideal Latina. First, it was "Latina mami," a sultry animated doll wearing a crimson tanktop (midriffs, yay!) and stylish black hat. Then I changed it to "Latina hunnie," a more proportional figure donning lavender splendor. And finally, I found an attractive and somehow intellectual, demure, and confident Latina, but it was all spoiled by the stereotypical sign "Chica bonita." Is it possible to instill a computer image with virtues of kindness, sense of humor, integrity, poise, and grace? If so, I need a new buddy icon.
I live in a second-floor apartment home and from the window in my room, I can see the top of garage roofs outside (the garages that are not attached to buildings). It's always interesting to see the objects that are sitting on the roof. There's a screwdriver, some random black stones, a walking stick, and then a book. The black stones and walking stick you can kind of figure out how they got there. Some kids were bored and decided to chuck them. But a screwdriver and book? I wonder who might have thrown those up there and why. Maybe people just wanted to see what those objects look like on top of a roof. I mean I think it's pretty cool. And we all like to know we exist sometime. Maybe they chucked them up reveling in their small rebellion against society and convention, convincing themselves of the symbolic significance of the objects and their actions, and finding delight in their own little secret. Hey, that's probably how gangs started hanging shoes on telephone wires. And people started peeing in the shower and writing postcards about them. That's weird, though.
And to finish off this post, I proudly present to you the first American rap music video ever to feature an Asian lady. Now I don't know about you, but I think she is pretty hot (she gets a 9 on my Mohs scale hehe). Ok, she really deserves more footage though. And something other than serving drinks to black women. Test your concentration and attention to detail by counting the number of her ultra-brief appearances, including flashes of her anatomy, in the first 90 seconds of the video. She first appears at 0:32. Answers are at the bottom.
7 Times.
(0:31.5-0:33)
(0:37-0:38, behind Nelly's head)
(0:47.5-0:48, right of Ashanti)
(0:57-0:58, left of Nelly)
(1:15-1:15.6, right of Ashanti)
(1:20-1:22, serving drinks)
(1:28-1:28.22, passing by Akon)
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