I think I am in danger of getting B's this quarter or semester. I usually downplay my performance and abilities for various reasons but this time I'm pretty sure of it. I'm getting my ass kicked in pretty much all my classes. Maybe I am not investing as much time and effort into school as I should. But one thing I noticed is my brain just doesn't work the way it used to. My memory is feeble and my ability to process information has been significantly compromised. There was a time when I could do mental math much faster. My vocabulary was outstanding in eighth grade but slowly it's been declining. I honestly believe I've passed my prime. The regression started when I got DSL. When you can download at 150-200kb/sec, your brain stops giving a fuck.
Watching the election coverage has been fun so far. The VP debate was lame but Obama was impressive in his first bout with McCain. What has really pissed me off so far, though, is McCain's character issues. Like him or not, the guy is a liar. If you look at some of the ads he's run on TV, you would know what I mean. The sad thing is, many folks voting for him believe every word he says. They also watch Fox News and think Obama is Muslim. Every time I hear some of the McCain supporters' false characterizations of Obama, I get scared about the future of America. I really do. I have nothing against people who vote for McCain, but let's be clear. Make sure your decision is based on "the fundamental differences" and not some false rumor.
Now on to other things... A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to discuss the moral issue of suicide with others. Many said it is a cowardly act. Committing suicide is the ultimate form of giving up. I can certainly understand their perspective, and I think I would agree with them in cases where social obligations play an important role. If you are an integral part of another person's life, you are doing that person injustice. This is especially the case if you have financial obligations.
But I still don't think suicide itself is immoral. The funny thing is, I value human life more than anything else. I think the ideal democratic government does, too. The point of giving people so many rights and so much control is to respect the individual. But it is out of this respect that I say suicide is not immoral. You see, no matter how hard we try, we are never going to be able to understand another person completely. Human emotions are too complex. We can try to put ourselves in another person's shoes- and that's a good thing - but we are not going to understand every thought and emotion running through that person's head. I don't know what it's like to lose an immediate family member. I don't know what it's like to be robbed of everything I've got. For the purpose of my argument, it's impossible to imagine what a person contemplating suicide is going through. It's unfair, then, for me to judge that person's actions using my moral standards. From a logical perspective, also, I think every human being should have the right to take one's own life. None of us made the choice of being born in the first place so why should we force people to live?
Looking at the bigger picture, this addresses the question of how we determine what is right and what is wrong. If people like myself give an individual so much credit, the line between right and wrong gets blurred. This can lead to pretty shitty verdicts in our court systems. The determining factor for me is how the act committed affects other people. For suicide, the severity would depend on what kind of obligations the person had. But then again, that alone may not be enough. In the meantime, the best thing for us to do for people contemplating suicide is to try to give them hope, or at least a different look at life. That's our obligation.
Lately I've been noticing a peculiar trend in female clothing. Girls are now wearing pants that bear a certain logo or phrase on the backside. When they wear it, the words are often tautly stretched across the region, and the creases add an intriguing aesthetic effect. The letters undulate to the movement of the muscle, expanding then contracting, lenghtening then shortening. Momentarily the legibility of the word is hindered by the rippling folds, and then another step forward, you see it again. It's almost like a screensaver except it's happening live and you're not quite sure what you have to press to stop it. The first time I beheld this apparel, I was so fascinated by the movement of the letters that I forgot what I was looking at. When I realized, I was embarrassed and I've trained myself to look straight ever since.
But the task has been harder than I expected. It's not that the sight is sexually stimulating. I've had the pleasure of being exposed to more titillating scenery in my long lifetime. Besides, I never had the proper sexual drive instilled in me during development because I was exerting all my efforts into learning English. It's simply that peripheral vision kicks into gear when you spy the movement of an object. I can't tell you how stressful it is to walk behind a girl wearing one of these pants. As soon as I detect the apparel, I will stare straight ahead. But once you walk a certain distance, you start wondering what that shimmering word is. What has that female chosen to plaster on her curves? I strain my eyes to try to read the letters without directly looking at her anatomy, and soon I get dizzy. One time, I thought for sure the word read "Bitch" so I couldn't resist the temptation and I glanced over, but it was actually "Fitch" as in Abercrombie and Fitch.
Lately I've been playing a game called World Domination 2. It's a simple turn-based game where you war against up to three enemy nations. Interface is simple, and you basically build up your military by upgrading technology. But the variety of weapons is cool, and you also have to plan strategically to make sure you minimize your losses. Plus, propaganda and diplomacy are interesting features. The nations are represented by caricatures of their leaders (though Zimbabwe's leader seems to resemble Tsvangirai, not Mugabe).
In my first game, I was ambitious and I squared off against bin Laden, Kim Jong Il, Mugabe/Tsvangirai, and South Korea. Almost immediately, North Korea eliminated South Korea using rockets with bioloads, and I panicked. Kim Jong Il then offered me a deal where I would have to pay him $50 mil for him to not attack me for nine turns. I said screw that, and thankfully bin Laden began attacking him. But then bin Laden pulverized me in a few turns. In the next game, I picked U.S., Iran, Bin Laden, and Tony Blair as opposition. Amazingly, Bush and Ahmadinejad made a treaty in the first turn. I think they did it without precondition. But Blair was being a bitch and he rejected my diplomacy. Still, I made alliances with Bin Laden and Ahmadinejad and used propaganda to gather the greatest population. Then I eliminated each nation using submarines. Needless to say, I felt like I was on the top of the world.
