Prom

When my dad dropped me off at the empty parking lot next to Park Prive, I felt sick to the stomach for an odd reason. I had a pretty bad ache like I was reliving my appendicitis but the parallel that came to mind at the time was Roy Hobbs in The Natural. I was like Roy crouched next to the bed with naked Memo, doubled up in strange pain and falling into some abyss.

The first person I saw when I finally found my way to the party was Mr. Williams. He seemed confused that I was both arriving late and bent over in pain. Seeing him relieved me though. I also got to meet his girlfriend who was a very nice lady. I wonder if Mr. Williams is nervous about proposing to her. They already seem settled down like a married couple and would complement each other well.

I walked into the dining room and saw some different foods laid out on the table. Mostly veggies. The consensus of the people I talked to was that the food was horrible. John Suh wanted me to quote him saying, "I feel like a rabbit." The dessert also disappointed many because they were expecting cheesecake and instead got these small cookie things.

I apologize for my vanity but I made the biggest fashion statement among the guys. My new Air Force One's. Lots of people complimented them including Mr. Hoshi and two waitresses. Will Nguyen dusted off my shoes twice. As for the girls, many of them had picked out pretty cool dresses. Kelsy's and Katia's looked good.

My biggest complaint about the whole event was that there was no refreshment table. I wanted to mostly sit and drink, and they offered me neither. I also complained about their iced tea initially but after taking a couple more sips, it got better. Like girls at the club.

Considering how spacious the entire venue was, the dance floor was minuscule. People forced their way in as close to the middle of the pulsating mass as possible, and they floundered about, rubbing elbows and other parts. Compared to the dance at COSMOS - and dances at other high schools - it was pretty clean, though. People were in good spirits despite the crowded quarters, and the DJ seemed to be playing the right songs. If he played some DJ Premier or 9th Wonder though, who knows, I might have gotten in on the action.

I mostly chilled out with a glass on top of the giant rock behind the dance floor. I felt sluggish for much of the event and frankly that rock was the only place outside I could sit and watch the moving appendages.

As I lay there, I kept trying to observe and find something interesting about the whole affair so I could find an angle to my article but I couldn't do it. Instead, I kept thinking about myself. Somewhere along the way, I had a revelation about why I did not ask her to the dance. She was the only person I could have asked. If I had gone with anyone else, I would've had to greet her with a smile or polite hello as we catch each other's eye at the dinner table or run into each other on the dance floor. And as I dance with my date (who, many people tell me, would simply be a "cool friend" I enjoy spending time with), I would feel the pang of the other's absence streaked with envy, disappointment, and guilt for feeling so. So not only would I feel dissatisfied, but I would also ruin my date's night in more ways than those prescribed by my usual behavior.

So what if I did ask her? And managed to convince her friends beforehand that I was a worthy partner for the night, posed no threat to her current and future reputation, and could do a decent job of making it all fun for her? That would've been a good way to start. But there is no end in sight. What can I possibly accomplish by taking her to prom? We may become closer friends, which is what my logic wants. But I would soon be overwhelmed by the flowering of that tormenting emotion that is impossible to predict or control. If I had a great time with her at prom, it may have pushed me over the edge. Ruined my last two weeks of school. The Roy Hobbs parallel somewhat applies here?

I wrote this post hoping I would discover an article idea but this is fail. I wish I had a basketball court at my house.

So, Band-Aid was today. Overall I enjoyed the show (it was my first concert experience haha), and I thought the bigger lineup worked out well even though some parts dragged a little. Some notes:

-I didn't realize how popular AJ Rafael was. I had never heard of him until today. And I didn't understand why the audience broke into cheers during the first song. He was taking parts from different songs maybe? Anyway I felt like a parent at a Disney movie.

-Kris Mark's singing voice was several pitches above the average male voice frequency and never came down. His speaking voice, though, was much much lower.

-PushPushPull. I had a hard time appreciating their music because I kept getting distracted by the dude on the guitar wearing the U-neck shirt. I had never seen anything like it. It was more like a tanktop than anything else. He was clearly the "pull" in the trio.

-Seriously. The other rock band in the show. The guy that immediately caught my attention was the violinist. But uh he quickly abandoned his instrument and descended into the depths of heavy rock, also wearing less and less clothing as the performance went on. Lead singer was enthusiastic to say the least.

-Poreotics. I didn't understand why so many people headed for the exits after AJ Rafael's number. I mean it's not like a Laker game where you have to beat the L.A. traffic. Where's the love? But the dance trio handled all of it well and delivered a great performance.

Yesterday the most ridiculous thing happened. A FML-worthy event. And Sarah Kim told me it's my blog-worthy event so now I am writing about it. We were having an after-school snack party / bonding event for Math Club. I went to Mrs. Gibb in the main office during lunch to order three medium one-topping pizzas at Dominos. I was planning to call them to place the order but when I went on their website to get the number, I saw that they had an online order option so I decided to give it a try. Once I got to the toppings page, I made a crucial mistake - I followed their directions correctly. Too correctly. I literally picked only one topping for each pizza. See the thing was, under the toppings, there was "cheese" and "sauce". Thinking they were extra toppings, I did not select them. Wrong. My friends in Math Club, upon opening the pizza boxes, were greeted to the horrifying sight of desolate bread mass sprinkled with dessicated meats. No cheese or sauce. Domino's got my order exactly right. But now here are my arguments why Domino's is in the wrong:

1) There is only one "cheese" option under the toppings. Meaning if that is indeed referring to the "basic cheese" present in every goddamn pizza, I am unable to order cheese as a topping.

2) "Sauce", the way Domino's defines it, is not a topping. The tomato sauce does not go on top of the pizza... so it's not a topping.

3) Pizza without sauce or cheese is not pizza. Period. Did they really think that someone would pay to eat the crust? I ordered pepperoni and Italian sausage so clearly I am not vegan. C'mon guys, learn to use your noggins.

4) There was no option for "bread" but they gave me bread. So obviously they believe a pizza has fundamental, inalienable rights that are quite obvious. Bread/crust being one of them. Sauce and cheese being the others they conveniently disregarded.

Breaking news:

MoNkEyfAcE917 (12:32:22 AM): when are you gonna blog about the pizza? haha
MoNkEyfAcE917 (12:32:31 AM): i was just reading your latest post
Surk14 (12:32:36 AM): i just finished writing it actually
MoNkEyfAcE917 (12:32:51 AM): ohhh
MoNkEyfAcE917 (12:32:57 AM): wow what coincidence

Coincidence indeed.

A couple weeks ago, while walking to the park in the evening, I discovered a pretty amazing sight - a sitting hummingbird. Because my mom has a sprawling garden in our patio, I have been able to see the hummingbird quite often since I moved into the apartment, but I had never seen one sitting on a tree branch. It was quite tiny, and I would have missed it if I had not seen it flying about from the distance. The sun was setting, and the bird sat on a high thin branch of a lemon tree that curled toward the hues of crimson and blue - it was really a beautiful sunset. As I went up closer, I saw that the bird's head was constantly twitching from side to side, probably keeping a lookout for a sneaky predator. I knew hummingbirds take these short breaks throughout the day because they use up so much energy when they fly, but I started wondering what that bird was thinking. Which thoughts would be within the hummingbird's intellectual capacity? It could be complaining to itself about how the life of flying for a bit and having to rest is fucked up. Especially if the bird is getting old and doesn't qualify for Social Security or Medicare. Well, maybe not complaining but animals often plan ahead to increase their chances of survival, and they could be thinking about their next flight already. Maybe the bird was thinking about its potential soulmate. It knows that the hottie hummingbird dining on daisy nectar on the next block (probably of Latin American origins) already has other suitors who are far superior, but he can't stop thinking about her. I mean those guys can stay in the air longer, drink more nectar than he can, and make cooler buzzing noises, but who knows? She may find his russet feathers attractive. All he knows is that he has to get married soon so that he can pass on his genes to his sons and daughters. Or maybe the bird was just admiring the sunset. He has a better view if he decides to fly, but then he would have to do a hurried corkscrew routine to make sure some cheap bitchass crow isn't waiting to devour him. Sitting on the tree branch would be much safer, and besides, the fragrance of lemons just gives off the right vibe for these things. A hummingbird sitting on the tree branch just chillin' out. Someone please roll up a blunt for this fellow.

Recently, I've fallen in love with massage. I've become stiff and inflexible over oh the last six years or so, and a lot of tension's built up in my back and neck. My temporary solution has been to ask Jonathan Chang for massages. That man knows how to give a proper massage. He is naturally gifted with strong, firm hands (reads like a WR scouting report), but his true prowess lies in his thumbs. Once he finds the stress spots, he presses gently and then makes graceful circles with varying force that really loosen the muscle up. After about a minute or two, I feel 15 years younger. All my worries and wants have disappeared, and endorphins surge from my pituitary gland. But I know I can't always go to Jonathan for massages because giving massage is a pretty tiring activity so I've been trying to find time to go to an official massage parlor. There are a few parlors around here, and I've researched prices and everything, but for some reason I can't muster the will to go. Part of the reason is that I have developed sort of an idealized vision of the massage parlor. Beautiful exotic women dressed in theme clothing (how much does the wild jungle mode cost?), fragrance of mango and perfumes satiating my senses, candles lit next to the massage bed... my god, a happy ending bitches! (Ok I am joking about the happy ending, completely serious about the rest) So for now, I have opted to watch youtube videos of other people getting massaged. I try my best to live vicariously but the pleasure just isn't the same.

Two days ago when Mai Anh and I finally finished working on our latest issue of The Gamut and went to press, it was about 9:30 p.m. I walked out of the English building through the back door toward the basketball courts and the soccer field, and it was completely dark except for the lights of houses. For a second, looking out at the vast field, I thought I was at the beach. The line where blacktop meets the grass reminded me of the edges of waves, and the night breeze had a salty, smoky incense to it. If you think about it, the presence of night is really an arbitrary thing. It just so happened that this planet Earth rotates around the Sun the way it does, and sometimes there is light where you are standing and sometimes there isn't. And it just so happened that life is possible on this planet, and humans are living on it. Now there is such a thing called nightlife, all because the two arbitrary conditions aligned. Somewhere else in the universe, other creatures are waiting for the bimonthly explosion of the natural Hennessy volcano. And the volcano shall spew in accordance with a lurid aurora borealis...

A GilbertArenas-esque announcement: I don't think I'm going to prom. Want to avoid the hassle and the bullshit.