Prom

When my dad dropped me off at the empty parking lot next to Park Prive, I felt sick to the stomach for an odd reason. I had a pretty bad ache like I was reliving my appendicitis but the parallel that came to mind at the time was Roy Hobbs in The Natural. I was like Roy crouched next to the bed with naked Memo, doubled up in strange pain and falling into some abyss.

The first person I saw when I finally found my way to the party was Mr. Williams. He seemed confused that I was both arriving late and bent over in pain. Seeing him relieved me though. I also got to meet his girlfriend who was a very nice lady. I wonder if Mr. Williams is nervous about proposing to her. They already seem settled down like a married couple and would complement each other well.

I walked into the dining room and saw some different foods laid out on the table. Mostly veggies. The consensus of the people I talked to was that the food was horrible. John Suh wanted me to quote him saying, "I feel like a rabbit." The dessert also disappointed many because they were expecting cheesecake and instead got these small cookie things.

I apologize for my vanity but I made the biggest fashion statement among the guys. My new Air Force One's. Lots of people complimented them including Mr. Hoshi and two waitresses. Will Nguyen dusted off my shoes twice. As for the girls, many of them had picked out pretty cool dresses. Kelsy's and Katia's looked good.

My biggest complaint about the whole event was that there was no refreshment table. I wanted to mostly sit and drink, and they offered me neither. I also complained about their iced tea initially but after taking a couple more sips, it got better. Like girls at the club.

Considering how spacious the entire venue was, the dance floor was minuscule. People forced their way in as close to the middle of the pulsating mass as possible, and they floundered about, rubbing elbows and other parts. Compared to the dance at COSMOS - and dances at other high schools - it was pretty clean, though. People were in good spirits despite the crowded quarters, and the DJ seemed to be playing the right songs. If he played some DJ Premier or 9th Wonder though, who knows, I might have gotten in on the action.

I mostly chilled out with a glass on top of the giant rock behind the dance floor. I felt sluggish for much of the event and frankly that rock was the only place outside I could sit and watch the moving appendages.

As I lay there, I kept trying to observe and find something interesting about the whole affair so I could find an angle to my article but I couldn't do it. Instead, I kept thinking about myself. Somewhere along the way, I had a revelation about why I did not ask her to the dance. She was the only person I could have asked. If I had gone with anyone else, I would've had to greet her with a smile or polite hello as we catch each other's eye at the dinner table or run into each other on the dance floor. And as I dance with my date (who, many people tell me, would simply be a "cool friend" I enjoy spending time with), I would feel the pang of the other's absence streaked with envy, disappointment, and guilt for feeling so. So not only would I feel dissatisfied, but I would also ruin my date's night in more ways than those prescribed by my usual behavior.

So what if I did ask her? And managed to convince her friends beforehand that I was a worthy partner for the night, posed no threat to her current and future reputation, and could do a decent job of making it all fun for her? That would've been a good way to start. But there is no end in sight. What can I possibly accomplish by taking her to prom? We may become closer friends, which is what my logic wants. But I would soon be overwhelmed by the flowering of that tormenting emotion that is impossible to predict or control. If I had a great time with her at prom, it may have pushed me over the edge. Ruined my last two weeks of school. The Roy Hobbs parallel somewhat applies here?

I wrote this post hoping I would discover an article idea but this is fail. I wish I had a basketball court at my house.