End of Year

Well, we made it. I never thought this day would arrive, but we actually survived junior year at Oxford Academy. Congratulations to everyone. We have (only) one year left. And for Andrew, congratulations on entering college life.

I think we should take this time to look back at the pleasant memories from the year. Don't think back to the shoulda, woulda, coulda's - it doesn't matter now. Treasure the good memories and give yourself a pat on the back for a break well deserved.

Yesterday I went to go watch Kung Fu Panda with my homie Allula. It was a pretty good movie, considering I didn't know what to expect. The opening was the funniest scene in the movie because it was like hearing Will Trinidad talk. I won't spoil it for you by quoting the line. I went out to the movies with my Spiderman tee and Ecko jean-shorts (my "outfit", as Sheena would say). At school and the bonfire, people mentioned that the jeans were definitely cool. Especially the white pockets in the back. They really make my butt stand out by drawing attention to its toastiness and excellent protrusion. My butt is like an Ursa major in a clear summer sky. I think if I try hard enough, I can look like a centaur.

Anyway, an interesting incident happened when I stopped by Marie Calendar's after the movies to pick up a pecan pie. As I approached the entrance, I saw an old white couple and their family members starting to make their way out the door. The woman saw me and my outfit and eyed me warily for a second before turning her eyes away. I think she was suspicious of my character. So I quickened my steps toward the door and held it open before they had reached the door. The woman's eyes widened and she said thank you with the most surprised expression ever. I thought that was great. I am going to continue putting on this outfit when I go to places just to see what kind of reaction I get from people. But then again, maybe just as wrong as stereotyping other people is assuming that other people will make stereotypes. Whatever, I still like my applebottom jeans.

So I promised a post on girls last time I wrote. Unfortunately, I don't have much to say about them anymore. The strange thing about me is, I hit puberty when I was like in 3rd or 4th grade. So now I think I am at a stage where girls' attractiveness doesn't hit me on the head. No girl is too cute or hot or pretty anymore. (Been around the world, seen so many girls...) Starting a few years ago, I used to really dig girls with cool personalities (nice, honest, funny, etc) and I still do, but I think the immediate physiological effect of an encounter with a female has worn off now. I'm getting old. I am pretty sure it will take something special for me to fall in love with a girl again.

Not to make myself a fucking saint here but what I've discovered this year is that I have an irrational concern for the futures and well-being of girls who are cool. Remember that passage from Catcher in the Rye when Holden worries about Jane getting with Stradlater? That's the case for me. I am not concerned about the girl because I am jealous of her meeting up with another guy. I am concerned because she is cool and doesn't deserve to be treated like trash. I also have a tendency to think of girls as emotionally fragile and I always hope that they are protected from emotional hurt. Sometimes, this paternal instinct gets in the way of my interactions with those girls. In online conversations, it's easier/less awkward for me to ask them how they are doing or give them sincere encouragements/advice and stuff, but in real everyday interactions with someone, it's harder to do that. I joke around with girls most of the time and it's fun sometimes but really I would rather be listening to their problems and offering them my help rather than kidding around.

Anyway, on to other things... I suddenly remembered a conversation that I had with Vy , An's older sister, a while back. For anyone who doesn't know Vy, she's a true genius. She is two years up on me in the educational ladder, but she's still younger than me. She had a quote in her profile about how logic trumps feeling: "Reason is also our potential salvation from the vicious and precipitous mass action that rule by emotionalism always seems to entail." The rest of the quote had something about how making decisions based on logic is better than acting out of feeling. I agree with the quote in that logic is clearly the better choice in maintaining an organized society. Laws are possible because of reason, and they secure our cherished ideals like freedom and equality. Reason prevents unfair treatment of others- if all of us thought logically, we would have less wars, less misunderstandings, more productivity, better social relations, etc.

I can't help but think, though, that we should stop drawing such a stark line between reason and emotion. We should learn to employ a healthy dosage of both and not always in disparate situations. Reason teaches us to make the decisions that have the most favorable consequences by mathematical odds, proven cause + effect relationships, previous life experiences, etc. It increases the chance of us achieving the goals we want. For instance, if I'm trying to impress a girl and I know that she likes an apple-flavored perfume and she hates getting flowers, I'm going to make sure I wear an apple-flavored perfume and don't get her flowers. That will increase the chance of me hooking up with the girl. But notice how the reasoning process is directly linked to the emotion. Why am I trying to hook up with the girl in the first place? Because that's my goal. Why is that my goal? Because I like her. You can't use reason to explain that. Reason can tell you what decisions you should make but only your feelings can empower you with the ability to make those decisions.

I am going to be gone for the month of July to study bioengineering at UCSD... but let's hang out before or after then. PEACE.