Here's the money, or maybe you ain't used to me / cause you was depressed and now you abusin me

Ah I haven't updated in a while because of schoolwork. Well, the winter break is finally here and I sure made good use of it today after school. I started off by watching some Kobe videos on Youtube and then played Madden 03. Actually I'm not that thrilled about winter break for some reason. I'm not going to be doing anything special, and the days will just pass by quickly. In the last few days, I've been thinking a lot about the schoolwork to follow after the winter break and it's depressing. I hate it when I focus on the future instead of the present.

In the meantime I read this on Oxford alumnus Hana Kim's xanga:

Why it's Unfair For Girls
It's not fair for girls. When boy likes girl, but girl doesn't return boy the same feelings back it's the girl who looks like the douche in the equation. Why?

See, boys have this problem called "obliviousness." That means they have no clue when a girl likes or doesn't like a boy back. Which leads us to boys' next problem: "hopeful thinking." Not only are they completely unaware when a girl doesn't like them back, but they will feed their own minds with blind and mistaken hope that somehow they still have a chance with the girl. So, putting one and one together, you get oblivious boys with some unfortunate hopeful thinking.

That brings us to the second part of the equation: girl. So, oblivious/hopeful boy is continuously seeking out the completely uninterested girl. Girl is tired of being bugged. What is girl supposed to do?
A) Show him common courtesy. Smile and keep conversations surface.
B) Completely ward him off. Give him the finger. Make it clear she's not interested.
C) Nothing.

You'd think with such a variety of choices, surely there is a way out for this girl. But that's where you're mistaken. Any and every move that this girl makes out of disinterest for this boy from this point on will actually turn this neutral situation into complete disarray.

Problem with Choice A. As I said before, the boy is oblivious and hopeful. Any sign of common courtesy that this girl shows, the boys somehow take it as special treatment. The smallest gestures of etiquette that girls make, even little hings like letting him borrow a book, studying with him, writing on Facebook walls, making smalltalk on the phone.... it seems boys take these little things as a green light for them to increase their infatuation for the girl. All in all, the problem with Choice A is that if a girl shows even the slightest common courtesy, it slowly but surely leads the boy on. So, that might lead you to think, "Well, maybe you can just give him a quick sign to back off." But that leads us to the next problem.

Problem with Choice B. Boys don't seem to get catch "quick signs." It could be all that obliviousness and hope swamping their minds, but guys don't seem to catch clues when girls don't like them. When girls turn boys down for lunch, sign off on AIM right after he IMs her, fail to return his texts/calls.... From the girls' perspective, these should be enough to send the guy a sign that we are not interested. But for guys, these signs just seems to fly by over their heads. He reassures himself, "Naw, I bet she's just busy" or "maybe she just needs some alone time." So, you just keep on bothering us. It seems the only way we can really get you guys to see the picture and leave us alone is to completely turn into a monster by doing something drastic. Drastic incidences can include but does not limit to: yelling at you, writing a mean letter, flat out ignoring you, "the talk*", or beating you up. Problem of boy bothering girl is solved, but now the girl looks like a complete jerk.

So, in Choice A, girl is a douche for leading the boy on. In Choice B, girl is a douche because she has to resort to being a douche to get the message across to the boy. How about Choice C?

Problem with Choice C. Choice C is still flawed, but in my opinion it's still the best way to go as of now. In doing nothing and staying neutral in all interactions with the boy, the girl is able to keep a distance from the boy, but at the same time the friendship she has with him is still intact. Of course, the girl has to endure the pains of having him follow her around everywhere, lurking behind every corner in her life, but at least she doesn't look like a douche.

The true solution to this injustice of girls lies in the boy realizing the truth. By quitting in their hopeful thinking and snapping out of their obliviousness, boys can put an end to the tension in the relationship and still keep a peaceful friendship. It's really not that hard once you start thinking realistically and analyzing the facts for what they are, not for what you want them to be.

Boys: take the sign for what it looks like. Girls are not that complicated. When they like you, they'll let you know. In any other case, take it as default that they're not interested. Until you guys can make the change, us girls will just have to continue enduring these awkward relationships.


As one of my comedic heroes Russell Peters would say, "Be a man. Do the right thing."


*The talk is a confrontation made by the girl, in which the status of their friendship is discussed. Girl basically says, "let's stay friends," and the friendship is inevitably doomed.

-End of entry-

Considering that the entry has over 400 comments and 700 eprops (never get tired of em), it must have been sponsored on the xanga home site. Pretty cool, Hana. In regards to the content, I guess I have to agree. I never really thought about it that way before. Girls do have it hard sometimes. They have to deal with undeserving guys who pester them, and efforts to do something about it strain what was previously a good friendship. I can look back and see how I perpetuate this dilemma. But hey, we guys don't have it so easy either. Our potent hormone production and enduring primitive instincts affect a lot of the things we do. Anyway from my perspective, I think choice A is better than the rest because it saves the friendship.

Speaking of friendship, I don't know why myspace hasn't added a matchmaker function on the website. I think many users will be intersted. This is my plan for how it would work: you will be able to see which people not on your friend list appear frequently on the friend list of your friends. Then you will be able to select the strangers you want to meet. If the stranger also selects you, then a message will be sent to both users. Of course, meeting a new friend does not always equate to dating. But making new friends certainly increases your chance of getting a boyfriend/girlfriend. Warning: side effects include depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling exploited, and increased chance of rape.

Btw... How many girls in the junior class who are not dating were asked to winter formal this year? The number is tiny compared to last year's, and I'm not sure why.