Camping Trip to Kings Canyon

I tutor the 8th grade daughter of my mom’s long-time friend, and when the mother told me about her family’s upcoming camping trip to Kings Canyon – and innocuously asked if I wanted to come along – I casually replied that I appreciated the offer but would decline. Even though our families have known each other for years, I hardly knew the girl I tutored or her older sister, a high school senior. Imagine how awkward it would be if I came along!

Then I got to thinking about it some more, and I started taking her offer seriously. I had gone camping only once before, with Chad’s family, and that was really fun. This time, I would be camping for five full days at a beautiful national park. With college and adulthood starting soon, I wouldn’t have such an opportunity for a long time. Still, I couldn’t make up my mind so I consulted few of my friends. I give a lot of credit to Jonathan Lee for convincing me to go. He said the awkwardness would go away in time – it would just take time.

It turned out that the two sisters were very very close to each other. They did most of the talking to themselves and politely ignored me. They also brought along their golden retriever, which demanded most of their attention and adoration. I ended up talking mostly to the parents, and whether it was because I tutored their daughter or because they thought of me as the son they never had, they were extremely kind to me.

I now realize that camping holds no beauty of its own, at least for me. Sleeping in a tent in Mother Nature is pretty cool, but I am a man who loves modern amenities. What really killed me was not being able to take a shower every day. The showers were located several miles from our campground and besides, they charged $4.00 for 10 minutes. That plus the absence of cellphone service and Internet connection (Lamar Odom signing happened while I was gone) nearly drove me crazy. Camping definitely made me develop a greater appreciation for what I have. But it’s one of those travails I love only after having done it. I’m not sure if I will ever willingly share a sink and bathroom with 50 other people again.

The sisters’ father is a hiking veteran who has conquered some of the longest and most difficult trails in parks across the nation, including Yosemite, Grand Canyon, and Yellowstone. Bearing a heavy backpack with water and his high-tech camera, he led the sisters and me on some intense hiking excursions – they were intense for me anyway. I believe we hiked 12-14 miles in total. That doesn’t seem too bad but the high altitudes, uneven grounds, and lack of shade really took a toll on me. And on our longest hike, a constant uphill battle on Hotel Creek Trail (a fucked up name because there was nothing close to a hotel or creek in our sights), we made the mistake of not bringing enough water. Once we had reached the peak, there was one half-full water bottle left; we would have to survive the three-hour hike down with little to no water. That day I learned what it means to be thirsty, and I hope I never have to be reminded of such a burning desire for water. With two hours left, I began to feel dizzy and the sun was beating down harder than before. Now when I look back at those trying moments, I really do believe they will be my source of strength in the future.

Once the nightmarish trial was complete and we safely got into the car, we stopped at the nearest market to buy water and drinks. I bought three Powerades and drank all of them in one sitting. Once we returned to the campsite, I guzzled down two more water bottles. Needless to say, I passed on dinner.

Actually I did very little eating during those five days, and I am not quite sure why. The mother is a very skilled cook who prides on her creativity. She prepared traditional Korean dishes with unique ingredients, and every meal was a delicious surprise. But I filled my stomach with water. I really really love drinking water. My mom thinks I have diabetes.

There was a time when I used to love dogs, but I don’t anymore. They bark against your will. They pee and poop in the wrong places, and even when they do it right, you have to pick up after them. They shed hair. They bite and drool over your stuff. And if you manage to get past all of that and still love your dog, well, dogs only live for so long. Saying farewell to loved ones is a bitch. So I was pretty amazed by how much the sisters loved their golden retriever. The dog did pretty much all of the things I described above (except die) and yet the sisters still cooed and petted and hugged and kissed. I guess I am not cut out to be a father and I may never be ready for that.

The 8th grader is 5’7’’ and her older sister is 5’8’’. I think it was their height that intimidated me and made it so hard to break the ice. But the ice did break. That was the turning point of my trip and it came in the sluggish afternoon of the day before the last. The younger sister was taking a nap in her tent, and the older one was reading a book by herself on a mat. The older one asked me to look after the dog while she used the restroom. Then she came back, sat on the wooden bench facing me, and we talked. What did we talk about? I don’t even remember. It was small talk about our respective schools, interests, friends, hobbies – the usual stuff. But she laughed at the things I said. And for the first time, I knew she understood who I was. She knew me as a person and not her sister’s tutor or the son of her mom’s friend who is going to Harvard. I can’t describe how happy that made me feel. I really felt like jumping up and down in excitement. I can’t recall the last time that happened. I don’t even have a crush on this girl.

We always tell our friends not to change. It’s true that life and people around us make us change but I think more difficult than resisting that change is presenting our true selves to others. Shakespeare is famous for saying all human beings are actors in life. It’s true because we may know who we are deep inside, but we must learn how to transmit our real identities to other people through social interaction. Even if we do become good actors, however, others may still form distorted views of who we are. This is best illustrated by a case in which many people can look at one event and interpret it differently. Because of their background and personalities, they judge one’s actions and words in a unique way. As a result, they form different impressions of other people.

We may be confident with our personalities, beliefs, and moral values, but revealing them to new people we meet is another matter. It takes not only courage and initiative but also time. It takes time to truly get to know someone, and once we are fully understood by our new acquaintances – and accepted for who we are – then we experience that inexplicable joy of both belonging to a larger community and understanding we are unique individuals.

K I'm done preaching.