So I've been watching some Dr. Phil lately. My snack time falls around 4 p.m., and there's really nothing good on TV since I don't have cable. Now, I've made fun of Dr. Phil in the past, but man, you have to watch the show to really get a feel for this guy. I understand a talk show based on giving advice to people is bound to be limited. You can only say so many original things to people on the show. But Dr. Phil takes it to the next level. He spends the first 30 minutes of the show exploring the facts of the case. Once he begins talking to the guests about their problems, he not only throws around platitudes like "You need to take control of your own life," but also harasses victims of the circumstances with childish questions. A few weeks ago, he invited three women who, despite being cheated on and abused by their partners, could not move on with their lives. Dr. Phil spent most of the time restating the facts of the case in a dramatic and disbelieving manner, relentlessly interrogating the women why they wanted to stay with their husbands. Now we all know that the women's behavior is irrational. This is nothing knew- we get it. What Dr. Phil needs to do is provide a supportive public forum where by confronting new questions, the victims can reevaluate their situation. They are on the show because they need concrete and detailed advice on getting out of their mess, not because they want to be bullied in front of a live audience.
Speaking of battered women, it really gets me when I hear about Latinas getting abused. It seems to be a cultural thing in Latin America. Males are supposed to be super macho, and it's acceptable for them to boss around the females. Girls grow up thinking it is natural to be mistreated and beaten by males, or they tell themselves they will resist the trend but somehow they end up in the same fate. You can even see it here as early as junior high or high school. Now if you consider the socioeconomic situation of many of these women/girls along with other social and psychological roadblocks so prevalent in their immigrant experience, it becomes clear that their chances of succeeding are handicapped. It's not a stereotype- facts are facts. I guess this is one reason why I am drawn to Latinas. I want so badly to see them break the trend in their families and rise against the odds. It is so empowering to see individuals work hard for their dreams and be rewarded what they deserve. So what does this have to do with my romantic exploits? Well, I could help out by tutoring the Latina on SAT's... that would be rewarding and romantic. Do I sound imperialistic?
I always talk about how old I am. Being 19, I have indeed seen much of the world and experienced a lot of things. But what makes me feel old is mainly this strange trait that has taken hold in me. I hardly feel any emotions anymore. My sensory neurons seem to still fire fairly quickly to external stimuli (my amazing sense of smell) but my emotional response to things has been somehow muted. There are many times in my life when I experience something and think to myself what I should be feeling logically. But the act of feeling is usually delayed or suppressed. Or it's just not as apparent as it used to be. This has been frustrating mainly because I have been making conscious efforts to "live it up" this year. I have tried to spend more quality time with friends and try new things. Yet I have found that none of it really makes me happy. I mean I can look back at the times and say "I had fun" but in truth the memories are dim and all I can remember is the passage of time. My first ever visit to Disneyland on my 19th birthday, for example. I was really looking forward to it because it's the happiest place on Earth and I had never been there. And when I got there, I can't say it disappointed me, but I just felt very empty (later I got really dizzy and sick but that was the deadly combination of teacup ride and turkey leg.) I can't really describe what it was, other than the fact that I couldn't get myself to be excited about it. I really hope it's not apathy. I really hope I don't have an icebox where my heart used to be.
Oh but one thing: that foolish infatuation thing is still in play apparently.
And now to finish my post, here are some lyrics from the song "Summer Song" by Atmosphere. It's quite amazing.
The sun is shining but I'm in the shadow of my smirk
I keep my breathin under my breath
Tucked within the untrimmed bushes next to her front steps
And when she leaves to make trek towards the bus stop
My love erupts (POPS) a thousand tiny blood clots
Damn I wish that she was mine but time and time over the discretion
On my right shoulder whispers to my ear
Advising me to admire from way over here, play the rear
And struggle for the view to clear
It's been 2 years and quite a few beers
Too many loose tears and a few souveniers
And if she only knew, how long I've waited for her
How her smiles enough to make my winter warmer
If she knew the way she walks could take away my storm
She'd probably call the cops and get a restraining order
As much as I hate myself, I hate you more
But I still smile when you come through that door
And as much as I hate my life, I hate yours too
Just can't seem to teach myself to ignore you
This is for the ladies, not every lady
Just the ones that drive me crazy, the ones that scream SAVE ME
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
The Wait is Over
It's been over three months since my last update, the longest hiatus yet, and ironically it started just as I was finishing up my college apps and the first semester of senior year. I thought once those two things were done, my life would be free and full of new opportunities. But really, my life hasn't been any less hectic or busy than before, if not more hectic and busier. I guess it really is true that life is all about the process and not the end product. Kind of depressing since I like the end product. Anyway, here's a recap of some interesting events that happened over last three months:
-Science Bowl Competition: For some strange reason, competitions have been some of my most treasured memories in high school. The academic decathlon award ceremony can't be topped, but Science Bowl was just as fun. Each of us specialized in a subject: Edwin and David Tran covered physics (Edwin also specialized in all other sciences), Joaquin Astronomy, David Le Biology, and I got Math. And despite finishing 3-2, we really rocked it. We answered a lot of questions and showed great improvement from last year. I truly believe if Santa Monica, last year's National Champion, weren't in our group, we would've gotten a lot farther in the competition. But it was good nevertheless.
The best part of it all was the study sessions prior to the competition. We took turns hosting the party (it really was) on Friday nights, practicing with sample question sets online and then usually eating afterward. I got to know the members much better, and it was just fun to make science jokes with people who understood.
-Journalism competition: Thanks to Meloche not checking his old e-mail after his departure, we nearly missed registration for our annual competition. Actually we did miss registration but by an incredible series of events, we managed to locate the contest organizer and register a week after the deadline. And we ended up winning first place overall for the first time ever, with the majority of our writers placing in the Top 10. It was really an amazing showing, and I couldn't be prouder of our staff. I mean Troy had won something like six out of the last ten years, and there were lots of other tough competitors in Division I including Sunny Hills and El Toro. But we triumphed!
-Regular journalism stuff: For me, The Gamut this year could be best described as frustrating. It's sad because I had so much anticipation for our paper, so many ambitions. I thought I would have a lot of time in my senior year, and I could work more closely with writers to improve their skills, help them create compelling work. I feel I am not spending enough time to do these things yet I am constantly fighting for time. I am not sending edits back quickly enough, and I am also letting the writers struggle with stories instead of offering detailed suggestions and advice... Really frustrating but I don't know if I could've done anything differently. Overall, I really enjoy interacting with our staff and from this point on, I just hope we could bond more.
-Playing basketball with Ashish: Ashish decided to get rid of the swimming pool in his backyard and move his basketball court there. His backyard is pretty spacious and now he has a decent court. On weekends I've had more time to play basketball with him, and it's been good just catching up and talking while shooting hoops. It's actually a pretty scenic spot, and we can see the sunset, though you know, that kind of moment is better spent with your soulmate.
One interesting incident, though, was when Ashish and I decided to go play basketball at Miller Elementary one evening. It was getting really dark so that the rim was almost impossible to distinguish, and then we saw this girl approaching us from the back. She was a Latina, which was an intriguing fact at the time, but as she came closer, I noticed she looked about 12 or 13. She said, "Hey guys, how are you doing?" and at that moment, I was thinking two things: 1) she wanted to play basketball with us 2) she wanted to buy/sell/do something else with weed. I don't know why weed came up as an option, but after the girl left, Ashish said the same thing so maybe it was not such an irrational thought.
Anyway, it turned out that her slightly out-of-shape younger brother was stuck in the kindergarten playground. He had jumped over the fence (lol) to enter the playground but after playing for hours, he had apparently exhausted his energy and could not jump back. The siblings wanted to go home but the brother was stuck. I found this pretty fucking hilarious, especially because the youngest sister was climbing the fence back and forth to try to teach her brother. But technique or no technique, 9.8m/s^2 was relentlessly pulling him down. So I came up with the brilliant idea of removing the youngest sibling from the stroller, raising the stroller over the fence to the other side, and letting the brother use it as a step to climb over. It worked, we all had a good laugh, and I saved the day.
-Turning 19. My birthday passed uneventfully as I grew another tree ring. It's really hard to wrap my head around how old I am. I mean in another year, I will be 20. 20! In a couple years, that won't be young enough for Dominican baseball prospects. Meanwhile I have to start worrying about paying my bills, preparing grocery lists, eating healthy, and all that stuff. Oh and I have to get married, for god sakes. All I want to do right now is settle down and raise me a family. Or at least start cohabitation. Oh, and I'm also ready for a divorce.
There are many more things I want to talk about, but since this post has already run too long, I will briefly talk about the movie Watchmen before I forget. If you haven't watched it yet, don't read further.
I have never been too comfortable about superhero movies carrying didactic or philosophical statements. To me, the two just don't go together. I watch superheroes to see their awesome mutant powers and superhuman abilities. I don't want the movie to lead me to questions about who is really the good or the bad guy or whether the superhero should continue using the powers. I have reality to pose those questions on a daily basis. And to be honest, I haven't seen any good superhero movie that manages to deliver both good action and philosophical material. That's because you can only go so far with a false premise, a plotline already so detached from the reality that those bigger picture musings just sound downright silly or ludicrous.
That's precisely the problem with Watchmen. The ending was maddening. You let a mass murderer go free because why? Because he cared about the overall good? First of all, it's a shaky assumption that just because the society can place the blame for its problems on someone (Dr. Manhattan), it will be able to maintain a long-term stability and peace. But even if that were true, it is still inexcusable to let Ozymandias go free. Mass murder is not something you can condone, something you can "compromise" in Rorschach's words. You cannot justify the Holocaust. You cannot justify child rape. There are hard and fast rules governing criminal behavior in today's society, and thank god they are there. Unfortunately, the only character who seems to agree with me, Rorschach, gets blown up by the multi-penis god.
The Watchmen seems to suggest that if you have a honest and believable reason for doing something, it's justified. The Comedian wanted to satirize life. He understood that human nature is savage, and thus he lived as the hyperbolic representation of human savagery. He killed the Vietnamese woman who bore his son and nearly raped Silk Spectre's mother because he understood! He knew better than anyone else how evil humans could become! So does that justify his behavior? No. Imagine if today's society tolerated such actions. Who can say what is for the overall good of the human race, and at what cost? Giving the human race too much credit can be very dangerous.
-Science Bowl Competition: For some strange reason, competitions have been some of my most treasured memories in high school. The academic decathlon award ceremony can't be topped, but Science Bowl was just as fun. Each of us specialized in a subject: Edwin and David Tran covered physics (Edwin also specialized in all other sciences), Joaquin Astronomy, David Le Biology, and I got Math. And despite finishing 3-2, we really rocked it. We answered a lot of questions and showed great improvement from last year. I truly believe if Santa Monica, last year's National Champion, weren't in our group, we would've gotten a lot farther in the competition. But it was good nevertheless.
The best part of it all was the study sessions prior to the competition. We took turns hosting the party (it really was) on Friday nights, practicing with sample question sets online and then usually eating afterward. I got to know the members much better, and it was just fun to make science jokes with people who understood.
-Journalism competition: Thanks to Meloche not checking his old e-mail after his departure, we nearly missed registration for our annual competition. Actually we did miss registration but by an incredible series of events, we managed to locate the contest organizer and register a week after the deadline. And we ended up winning first place overall for the first time ever, with the majority of our writers placing in the Top 10. It was really an amazing showing, and I couldn't be prouder of our staff. I mean Troy had won something like six out of the last ten years, and there were lots of other tough competitors in Division I including Sunny Hills and El Toro. But we triumphed!
-Regular journalism stuff: For me, The Gamut this year could be best described as frustrating. It's sad because I had so much anticipation for our paper, so many ambitions. I thought I would have a lot of time in my senior year, and I could work more closely with writers to improve their skills, help them create compelling work. I feel I am not spending enough time to do these things yet I am constantly fighting for time. I am not sending edits back quickly enough, and I am also letting the writers struggle with stories instead of offering detailed suggestions and advice... Really frustrating but I don't know if I could've done anything differently. Overall, I really enjoy interacting with our staff and from this point on, I just hope we could bond more.
-Playing basketball with Ashish: Ashish decided to get rid of the swimming pool in his backyard and move his basketball court there. His backyard is pretty spacious and now he has a decent court. On weekends I've had more time to play basketball with him, and it's been good just catching up and talking while shooting hoops. It's actually a pretty scenic spot, and we can see the sunset, though you know, that kind of moment is better spent with your soulmate.
One interesting incident, though, was when Ashish and I decided to go play basketball at Miller Elementary one evening. It was getting really dark so that the rim was almost impossible to distinguish, and then we saw this girl approaching us from the back. She was a Latina, which was an intriguing fact at the time, but as she came closer, I noticed she looked about 12 or 13. She said, "Hey guys, how are you doing?" and at that moment, I was thinking two things: 1) she wanted to play basketball with us 2) she wanted to buy/sell/do something else with weed. I don't know why weed came up as an option, but after the girl left, Ashish said the same thing so maybe it was not such an irrational thought.
Anyway, it turned out that her slightly out-of-shape younger brother was stuck in the kindergarten playground. He had jumped over the fence (lol) to enter the playground but after playing for hours, he had apparently exhausted his energy and could not jump back. The siblings wanted to go home but the brother was stuck. I found this pretty fucking hilarious, especially because the youngest sister was climbing the fence back and forth to try to teach her brother. But technique or no technique, 9.8m/s^2 was relentlessly pulling him down. So I came up with the brilliant idea of removing the youngest sibling from the stroller, raising the stroller over the fence to the other side, and letting the brother use it as a step to climb over. It worked, we all had a good laugh, and I saved the day.
-Turning 19. My birthday passed uneventfully as I grew another tree ring. It's really hard to wrap my head around how old I am. I mean in another year, I will be 20. 20! In a couple years, that won't be young enough for Dominican baseball prospects. Meanwhile I have to start worrying about paying my bills, preparing grocery lists, eating healthy, and all that stuff. Oh and I have to get married, for god sakes. All I want to do right now is settle down and raise me a family. Or at least start cohabitation. Oh, and I'm also ready for a divorce.
There are many more things I want to talk about, but since this post has already run too long, I will briefly talk about the movie Watchmen before I forget. If you haven't watched it yet, don't read further.
I have never been too comfortable about superhero movies carrying didactic or philosophical statements. To me, the two just don't go together. I watch superheroes to see their awesome mutant powers and superhuman abilities. I don't want the movie to lead me to questions about who is really the good or the bad guy or whether the superhero should continue using the powers. I have reality to pose those questions on a daily basis. And to be honest, I haven't seen any good superhero movie that manages to deliver both good action and philosophical material. That's because you can only go so far with a false premise, a plotline already so detached from the reality that those bigger picture musings just sound downright silly or ludicrous.
That's precisely the problem with Watchmen. The ending was maddening. You let a mass murderer go free because why? Because he cared about the overall good? First of all, it's a shaky assumption that just because the society can place the blame for its problems on someone (Dr. Manhattan), it will be able to maintain a long-term stability and peace. But even if that were true, it is still inexcusable to let Ozymandias go free. Mass murder is not something you can condone, something you can "compromise" in Rorschach's words. You cannot justify the Holocaust. You cannot justify child rape. There are hard and fast rules governing criminal behavior in today's society, and thank god they are there. Unfortunately, the only character who seems to agree with me, Rorschach, gets blown up by the multi-penis god.
The Watchmen seems to suggest that if you have a honest and believable reason for doing something, it's justified. The Comedian wanted to satirize life. He understood that human nature is savage, and thus he lived as the hyperbolic representation of human savagery. He killed the Vietnamese woman who bore his son and nearly raped Silk Spectre's mother because he understood! He knew better than anyone else how evil humans could become! So does that justify his behavior? No. Imagine if today's society tolerated such actions. Who can say what is for the overall good of the human race, and at what cost? Giving the human race too much credit can be very dangerous.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Christmas
Merry Christmas, everybody. This season, I've got a lot to be thankful for. I think the top two on my list are my personal growth and my friends. It's some good stuff. Now I want to celebrate this occasion by wishing the Lakers luck in their game today and sharing some wise words from Isaiah's blog:
"I was sitting in the train on my way back from rome.
Yeah, i went to rome. It was the host family i'm living with and the neighbors to our left.
They are a family of three, one daughter, who i think is 13 years old.
the kids were seated together. so my two host brothers and the girl. Madalena or however it's spelled.
The younger brother is in class with her. so as they were doing their homework, i looked at her planner, or diario in italian. i looked in the back and there were stickers.
i dont even remember the last sticker i got, just kidding.
The last time i got a sticker was when i donated blood at the school blood drive last year.
It was my first blood donation, and not my last. I almost fainted.
But anyway, the sticker made me feel so much better. it said "I did it"
I took about 30 of them.
Stickers make people feel good. sometimes people just want to show off and are always showing people the new happy face sticker on their right hand. but for me, stickers aren't to show off. just for my pleasure, especially when i come across those scratch and sniff ones. you can never go wrong with those unless they make black licorice or black jelly bean scented ones.
but as you know, stickers arent forever. eventually they will loose their sticky adhesive, unless you decide to put it on a paper that you scored well on.
as far as i see it, many things are stickers.
Being in italy, i've seen so much beautiful art, architecture, and food.
I've never seen thing so beautiful in my life living in southern california.
being at the beach brings a sense of serenity, but i would much rather stare at the painted ceilings and carved marble statues endlessly dressing the walls of the churches.
But the second time around, it's like that sticker that you've lifted off to relocate it, but there's that one corner of the star that doesnt quite stick.
so what's the solution to having a sticker on forever. to have those butterflies flying in your stomach forever. maybe to show off, or maybe just to graze in the grasses of happiness.
yes, you are right. get a tattoo. tattoo's that i've seen all have dragons and chinese symbols, or flames. so cliché. i personally at this moment would not get a tattoo. because a 100 pack of stickers might give me the same amount of happiness without the pain, or a thread of regret.
so essentially tattoo's arent the solution. they hurt, are permanent (more or less), and will cost more than stickers. and if you want another tattoo in the same place. good luck.
so with one sticker comes an addiction.
maybe you'd want something bigger
a different animal
a different color
more shiny
or
"i did it again"
maybe we're just seeking for some kind of acknowledgement whether it comes from yourself or from another. maybe it's not the sticker that we come to appreciate, but the meaning behind the sticker. the "yippee" feeling that's granted through the sticker's sticky adhesive.
fundamentally like a nicotine patch.
but i've come to the conclusion.
sticker's wont always be there. in my situation, the people, the art, the beauty in general will shortly be far out of my reach, actually out of sight.
so is a boy supposed to do?
i've decided to use tape. because tape never really runs out, you can always buy more tape
i have never heard of a piece of tape that has sentimental value.
so use tape until it runs out.
which in my situation my role of tape is time.
i'm on a mission to wear all the stickers i can find.
spend time with the friends i'll be far from sight by february
and avoid those who smell like black licorice and jelly beans
unlike tattoos, you always have a choice of wearing the sticker.
so cast away those that stink, and use tape to make the scented stickers last as long as they can.
damnit. the little brother came in and started whining so i lost my train of concentration.
i ran out of coal."
"I was sitting in the train on my way back from rome.
Yeah, i went to rome. It was the host family i'm living with and the neighbors to our left.
They are a family of three, one daughter, who i think is 13 years old.
the kids were seated together. so my two host brothers and the girl. Madalena or however it's spelled.
The younger brother is in class with her. so as they were doing their homework, i looked at her planner, or diario in italian. i looked in the back and there were stickers.
i dont even remember the last sticker i got, just kidding.
The last time i got a sticker was when i donated blood at the school blood drive last year.
It was my first blood donation, and not my last. I almost fainted.
But anyway, the sticker made me feel so much better. it said "I did it"
I took about 30 of them.
Stickers make people feel good. sometimes people just want to show off and are always showing people the new happy face sticker on their right hand. but for me, stickers aren't to show off. just for my pleasure, especially when i come across those scratch and sniff ones. you can never go wrong with those unless they make black licorice or black jelly bean scented ones.
but as you know, stickers arent forever. eventually they will loose their sticky adhesive, unless you decide to put it on a paper that you scored well on.
as far as i see it, many things are stickers.
Being in italy, i've seen so much beautiful art, architecture, and food.
I've never seen thing so beautiful in my life living in southern california.
being at the beach brings a sense of serenity, but i would much rather stare at the painted ceilings and carved marble statues endlessly dressing the walls of the churches.
But the second time around, it's like that sticker that you've lifted off to relocate it, but there's that one corner of the star that doesnt quite stick.
so what's the solution to having a sticker on forever. to have those butterflies flying in your stomach forever. maybe to show off, or maybe just to graze in the grasses of happiness.
yes, you are right. get a tattoo. tattoo's that i've seen all have dragons and chinese symbols, or flames. so cliché. i personally at this moment would not get a tattoo. because a 100 pack of stickers might give me the same amount of happiness without the pain, or a thread of regret.
so essentially tattoo's arent the solution. they hurt, are permanent (more or less), and will cost more than stickers. and if you want another tattoo in the same place. good luck.
so with one sticker comes an addiction.
maybe you'd want something bigger
a different animal
a different color
more shiny
or
"i did it again"
maybe we're just seeking for some kind of acknowledgement whether it comes from yourself or from another. maybe it's not the sticker that we come to appreciate, but the meaning behind the sticker. the "yippee" feeling that's granted through the sticker's sticky adhesive.
fundamentally like a nicotine patch.
but i've come to the conclusion.
sticker's wont always be there. in my situation, the people, the art, the beauty in general will shortly be far out of my reach, actually out of sight.
so is a boy supposed to do?
i've decided to use tape. because tape never really runs out, you can always buy more tape
i have never heard of a piece of tape that has sentimental value.
so use tape until it runs out.
which in my situation my role of tape is time.
i'm on a mission to wear all the stickers i can find.
spend time with the friends i'll be far from sight by february
and avoid those who smell like black licorice and jelly beans
unlike tattoos, you always have a choice of wearing the sticker.
so cast away those that stink, and use tape to make the scented stickers last as long as they can.
damnit. the little brother came in and started whining so i lost my train of concentration.
i ran out of coal."
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Conversation
Surk14 (9:18:29 PM): well hmm let me try to explain
Surk14 (9:19:05 PM): it's sort of how when you do heroin, it gets less and less pleasurable
Surk14 (9:19:18 PM): and you are always reaching for that first high
Surk14 (9:19:23 PM): but you always fall short
Surk14 (9:19:49 PM): falling in love is always a delusion
Surk14 (9:19:57 PM): but you buy less and less into it as time passes
Surk14 (9:20:23 PM): i think delusion is not an accurate word
Surk14 (9:20:50 PM): it's more that your ability to perceive and understand the girl in relation to you is deteriorating
Surk14 (9:19:05 PM): it's sort of how when you do heroin, it gets less and less pleasurable
Surk14 (9:19:18 PM): and you are always reaching for that first high
Surk14 (9:19:23 PM): but you always fall short
Surk14 (9:19:49 PM): falling in love is always a delusion
Surk14 (9:19:57 PM): but you buy less and less into it as time passes
Surk14 (9:20:23 PM): i think delusion is not an accurate word
Surk14 (9:20:50 PM): it's more that your ability to perceive and understand the girl in relation to you is deteriorating
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Today is Pepero Day
A friend informed me that my last post about suicide was featured on a site called suicidegirlsmeetup.com. I went on the site and wasn't able to determine exactly what it was. It is basically a compilation of various articles and blog posts, but they don't all seem to deal with suicide. I don't know about you, but "suicidegirlsmeetup" is screaming cult at me. I hope my post does not somehow encourage girls to take their own lives. I hope the second part of my post, dealing with the hypnotic movement of letters etched across their butts, convinces them that seducing men with such clothing is worth living for.
I've been doing a lot of thinking about my life and future recently. I don't really know what to think of my life. My happiest days were childhood, that's for sure. Growing up in a small town in Seoul, Korea, I was blessed with a natural playground in the mountains that overlooked my home. Starting at the age of five, my friends and I made our way up the gentle slope, exploring uncharted territories and admiring the changing seasons. I spent time in nature practically every day, whether it was catching dragonflies or collecting maple leaves in autumn.
There are many people who have an irrational belief that nature can solve their problems and give them happiness, and I am one of them. I really think if we spent more time in nature, it can strengthen our physical, spiritual, and psychological health. Humans are animals, and animals' natural habitat is nature. We are not meant to live the way we do here. I don't know how I would have turned out if it weren't for my childhood. Spending time on those mountains- seeing, hearing, smelling, and touching- gave me much to endure the passionless living I lead today. You know what I love about weddings and big family dinners at my cousin's? Looking at all the scenery outside the car window as I am getting there. Sometimes I see a stretch of vast brown sea, all hills and short grasses and little shrubbery. I just want to get out of the car and walk around. Yes, I need a greater connection to nature here. Can I get a lake or a mountain somewhere in La Palma?
I guess the ancient builders of our civilizations might not have entirely discounted the fact that we are animals. After all, the city was traditionally a place for people to gather and interact with each other, and people are part of nature. But that reminds me - I lack human contact as well. A few weeks or months ago, I put up a poll asking whether you feel lonely or need someone to talk to. Ten out of eighteen people said yes (it feels good to cite my own study though the methodology is questionable). With Internet and technology, we are more connected than ever yet we are in need of intimate and genuine human relationships, perhaps more than ever. For me, the problem is that I simply don't invest enough time in my relationships. Friendships are a lot of work. You have to talk to your friends and get to know them. It's not about asking for help on homework or making small talk as you're standing to buy your dance ticket. It's about taking time out of your life solely for the purpose of spending time with your friends. Watching movies or playing video games with friends doesn't really count; there is still little interaction between you and your friends. When's the last time you sat next to a friend and just talked? It's been a while since I've done that. I'm going to try to spend more time with friends, talking to them by the locker or going out to eat.
Recently I've been talking to Isaiah Chang online, and for those who don't know yet, it turns out he's studying abroad in Italy. I think everyone who's had a chance to meet Isaiah appreciates his sense of humor, but I've always thought he was a special guy. He really lives life to the fullest. I mean the fullest. He is never afraid to try anything, and he wants to try everything. I remember last Halloween, he and Tony Robinson completely shaved their legs for their trick-o-treating venture. And now studying abroad at Italy where there is no one else who speaks English or looks Asian. I don't think I have the courage to do that. Isaiah is staying with an Italian family and meeting hot Italian girls, and not surprisingly, he is quite enjoying himself. I admire his adventurous spirit and hope I, too, can let myself go one day. Meanwhile, while he's in Italy, I was hoping someone could bring a laptop to school so we could talk to him via webcam. Like the Cisco Human Network commercial. And here is the link to his blog which he updates frequently:
www.unibeefly.blogspot.com
Speaking of hot girls, I have rediscovered my passion for Latinas. I realize that I have not rationalized and justified my discriminatory love quite yet- I think I will save that for one of my dreamier moods on a rainy day. But at the moment I am trying to find a buddy icon that aptly portrays my ideal Latina. First, it was "Latina mami," a sultry animated doll wearing a crimson tanktop (midriffs, yay!) and stylish black hat. Then I changed it to "Latina hunnie," a more proportional figure donning lavender splendor. And finally, I found an attractive and somehow intellectual, demure, and confident Latina, but it was all spoiled by the stereotypical sign "Chica bonita." Is it possible to instill a computer image with virtues of kindness, sense of humor, integrity, poise, and grace? If so, I need a new buddy icon.
I live in a second-floor apartment home and from the window in my room, I can see the top of garage roofs outside (the garages that are not attached to buildings). It's always interesting to see the objects that are sitting on the roof. There's a screwdriver, some random black stones, a walking stick, and then a book. The black stones and walking stick you can kind of figure out how they got there. Some kids were bored and decided to chuck them. But a screwdriver and book? I wonder who might have thrown those up there and why. Maybe people just wanted to see what those objects look like on top of a roof. I mean I think it's pretty cool. And we all like to know we exist sometime. Maybe they chucked them up reveling in their small rebellion against society and convention, convincing themselves of the symbolic significance of the objects and their actions, and finding delight in their own little secret. Hey, that's probably how gangs started hanging shoes on telephone wires. And people started peeing in the shower and writing postcards about them. That's weird, though.
And to finish off this post, I proudly present to you the first American rap music video ever to feature an Asian lady. Now I don't know about you, but I think she is pretty hot (she gets a 9 on my Mohs scale hehe). Ok, she really deserves more footage though. And something other than serving drinks to black women. Test your concentration and attention to detail by counting the number of her ultra-brief appearances, including flashes of her anatomy, in the first 90 seconds of the video. She first appears at 0:32. Answers are at the bottom.
7 Times.
(0:31.5-0:33)
(0:37-0:38, behind Nelly's head)
(0:47.5-0:48, right of Ashanti)
(0:57-0:58, left of Nelly)
(1:15-1:15.6, right of Ashanti)
(1:20-1:22, serving drinks)
(1:28-1:28.22, passing by Akon)
I've been doing a lot of thinking about my life and future recently. I don't really know what to think of my life. My happiest days were childhood, that's for sure. Growing up in a small town in Seoul, Korea, I was blessed with a natural playground in the mountains that overlooked my home. Starting at the age of five, my friends and I made our way up the gentle slope, exploring uncharted territories and admiring the changing seasons. I spent time in nature practically every day, whether it was catching dragonflies or collecting maple leaves in autumn.
There are many people who have an irrational belief that nature can solve their problems and give them happiness, and I am one of them. I really think if we spent more time in nature, it can strengthen our physical, spiritual, and psychological health. Humans are animals, and animals' natural habitat is nature. We are not meant to live the way we do here. I don't know how I would have turned out if it weren't for my childhood. Spending time on those mountains- seeing, hearing, smelling, and touching- gave me much to endure the passionless living I lead today. You know what I love about weddings and big family dinners at my cousin's? Looking at all the scenery outside the car window as I am getting there. Sometimes I see a stretch of vast brown sea, all hills and short grasses and little shrubbery. I just want to get out of the car and walk around. Yes, I need a greater connection to nature here. Can I get a lake or a mountain somewhere in La Palma?
I guess the ancient builders of our civilizations might not have entirely discounted the fact that we are animals. After all, the city was traditionally a place for people to gather and interact with each other, and people are part of nature. But that reminds me - I lack human contact as well. A few weeks or months ago, I put up a poll asking whether you feel lonely or need someone to talk to. Ten out of eighteen people said yes (it feels good to cite my own study though the methodology is questionable). With Internet and technology, we are more connected than ever yet we are in need of intimate and genuine human relationships, perhaps more than ever. For me, the problem is that I simply don't invest enough time in my relationships. Friendships are a lot of work. You have to talk to your friends and get to know them. It's not about asking for help on homework or making small talk as you're standing to buy your dance ticket. It's about taking time out of your life solely for the purpose of spending time with your friends. Watching movies or playing video games with friends doesn't really count; there is still little interaction between you and your friends. When's the last time you sat next to a friend and just talked? It's been a while since I've done that. I'm going to try to spend more time with friends, talking to them by the locker or going out to eat.
Recently I've been talking to Isaiah Chang online, and for those who don't know yet, it turns out he's studying abroad in Italy. I think everyone who's had a chance to meet Isaiah appreciates his sense of humor, but I've always thought he was a special guy. He really lives life to the fullest. I mean the fullest. He is never afraid to try anything, and he wants to try everything. I remember last Halloween, he and Tony Robinson completely shaved their legs for their trick-o-treating venture. And now studying abroad at Italy where there is no one else who speaks English or looks Asian. I don't think I have the courage to do that. Isaiah is staying with an Italian family and meeting hot Italian girls, and not surprisingly, he is quite enjoying himself. I admire his adventurous spirit and hope I, too, can let myself go one day. Meanwhile, while he's in Italy, I was hoping someone could bring a laptop to school so we could talk to him via webcam. Like the Cisco Human Network commercial. And here is the link to his blog which he updates frequently:
www.unibeefly.blogspot.com
Speaking of hot girls, I have rediscovered my passion for Latinas. I realize that I have not rationalized and justified my discriminatory love quite yet- I think I will save that for one of my dreamier moods on a rainy day. But at the moment I am trying to find a buddy icon that aptly portrays my ideal Latina. First, it was "Latina mami," a sultry animated doll wearing a crimson tanktop (midriffs, yay!) and stylish black hat. Then I changed it to "Latina hunnie," a more proportional figure donning lavender splendor. And finally, I found an attractive and somehow intellectual, demure, and confident Latina, but it was all spoiled by the stereotypical sign "Chica bonita." Is it possible to instill a computer image with virtues of kindness, sense of humor, integrity, poise, and grace? If so, I need a new buddy icon.
I live in a second-floor apartment home and from the window in my room, I can see the top of garage roofs outside (the garages that are not attached to buildings). It's always interesting to see the objects that are sitting on the roof. There's a screwdriver, some random black stones, a walking stick, and then a book. The black stones and walking stick you can kind of figure out how they got there. Some kids were bored and decided to chuck them. But a screwdriver and book? I wonder who might have thrown those up there and why. Maybe people just wanted to see what those objects look like on top of a roof. I mean I think it's pretty cool. And we all like to know we exist sometime. Maybe they chucked them up reveling in their small rebellion against society and convention, convincing themselves of the symbolic significance of the objects and their actions, and finding delight in their own little secret. Hey, that's probably how gangs started hanging shoes on telephone wires. And people started peeing in the shower and writing postcards about them. That's weird, though.
And to finish off this post, I proudly present to you the first American rap music video ever to feature an Asian lady. Now I don't know about you, but I think she is pretty hot (she gets a 9 on my Mohs scale hehe). Ok, she really deserves more footage though. And something other than serving drinks to black women. Test your concentration and attention to detail by counting the number of her ultra-brief appearances, including flashes of her anatomy, in the first 90 seconds of the video. She first appears at 0:32. Answers are at the bottom.
7 Times.
(0:31.5-0:33)
(0:37-0:38, behind Nelly's head)
(0:47.5-0:48, right of Ashanti)
(0:57-0:58, left of Nelly)
(1:15-1:15.6, right of Ashanti)
(1:20-1:22, serving drinks)
(1:28-1:28.22, passing by Akon)
Friday, October 3, 2008
Lala
I think I am in danger of getting B's this quarter or semester. I usually downplay my performance and abilities for various reasons but this time I'm pretty sure of it. I'm getting my ass kicked in pretty much all my classes. Maybe I am not investing as much time and effort into school as I should. But one thing I noticed is my brain just doesn't work the way it used to. My memory is feeble and my ability to process information has been significantly compromised. There was a time when I could do mental math much faster. My vocabulary was outstanding in eighth grade but slowly it's been declining. I honestly believe I've passed my prime. The regression started when I got DSL. When you can download at 150-200kb/sec, your brain stops giving a fuck.
Watching the election coverage has been fun so far. The VP debate was lame but Obama was impressive in his first bout with McCain. What has really pissed me off so far, though, is McCain's character issues. Like him or not, the guy is a liar. If you look at some of the ads he's run on TV, you would know what I mean. The sad thing is, many folks voting for him believe every word he says. They also watch Fox News and think Obama is Muslim. Every time I hear some of the McCain supporters' false characterizations of Obama, I get scared about the future of America. I really do. I have nothing against people who vote for McCain, but let's be clear. Make sure your decision is based on "the fundamental differences" and not some false rumor.
Now on to other things... A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to discuss the moral issue of suicide with others. Many said it is a cowardly act. Committing suicide is the ultimate form of giving up. I can certainly understand their perspective, and I think I would agree with them in cases where social obligations play an important role. If you are an integral part of another person's life, you are doing that person injustice. This is especially the case if you have financial obligations.
But I still don't think suicide itself is immoral. The funny thing is, I value human life more than anything else. I think the ideal democratic government does, too. The point of giving people so many rights and so much control is to respect the individual. But it is out of this respect that I say suicide is not immoral. You see, no matter how hard we try, we are never going to be able to understand another person completely. Human emotions are too complex. We can try to put ourselves in another person's shoes- and that's a good thing - but we are not going to understand every thought and emotion running through that person's head. I don't know what it's like to lose an immediate family member. I don't know what it's like to be robbed of everything I've got. For the purpose of my argument, it's impossible to imagine what a person contemplating suicide is going through. It's unfair, then, for me to judge that person's actions using my moral standards. From a logical perspective, also, I think every human being should have the right to take one's own life. None of us made the choice of being born in the first place so why should we force people to live?
Looking at the bigger picture, this addresses the question of how we determine what is right and what is wrong. If people like myself give an individual so much credit, the line between right and wrong gets blurred. This can lead to pretty shitty verdicts in our court systems. The determining factor for me is how the act committed affects other people. For suicide, the severity would depend on what kind of obligations the person had. But then again, that alone may not be enough. In the meantime, the best thing for us to do for people contemplating suicide is to try to give them hope, or at least a different look at life. That's our obligation.
Lately I've been noticing a peculiar trend in female clothing. Girls are now wearing pants that bear a certain logo or phrase on the backside. When they wear it, the words are often tautly stretched across the region, and the creases add an intriguing aesthetic effect. The letters undulate to the movement of the muscle, expanding then contracting, lenghtening then shortening. Momentarily the legibility of the word is hindered by the rippling folds, and then another step forward, you see it again. It's almost like a screensaver except it's happening live and you're not quite sure what you have to press to stop it. The first time I beheld this apparel, I was so fascinated by the movement of the letters that I forgot what I was looking at. When I realized, I was embarrassed and I've trained myself to look straight ever since.
But the task has been harder than I expected. It's not that the sight is sexually stimulating. I've had the pleasure of being exposed to more titillating scenery in my long lifetime. Besides, I never had the proper sexual drive instilled in me during development because I was exerting all my efforts into learning English. It's simply that peripheral vision kicks into gear when you spy the movement of an object. I can't tell you how stressful it is to walk behind a girl wearing one of these pants. As soon as I detect the apparel, I will stare straight ahead. But once you walk a certain distance, you start wondering what that shimmering word is. What has that female chosen to plaster on her curves? I strain my eyes to try to read the letters without directly looking at her anatomy, and soon I get dizzy. One time, I thought for sure the word read "Bitch" so I couldn't resist the temptation and I glanced over, but it was actually "Fitch" as in Abercrombie and Fitch.
Lately I've been playing a game called World Domination 2. It's a simple turn-based game where you war against up to three enemy nations. Interface is simple, and you basically build up your military by upgrading technology. But the variety of weapons is cool, and you also have to plan strategically to make sure you minimize your losses. Plus, propaganda and diplomacy are interesting features. The nations are represented by caricatures of their leaders (though Zimbabwe's leader seems to resemble Tsvangirai, not Mugabe).
In my first game, I was ambitious and I squared off against bin Laden, Kim Jong Il, Mugabe/Tsvangirai, and South Korea. Almost immediately, North Korea eliminated South Korea using rockets with bioloads, and I panicked. Kim Jong Il then offered me a deal where I would have to pay him $50 mil for him to not attack me for nine turns. I said screw that, and thankfully bin Laden began attacking him. But then bin Laden pulverized me in a few turns. In the next game, I picked U.S., Iran, Bin Laden, and Tony Blair as opposition. Amazingly, Bush and Ahmadinejad made a treaty in the first turn. I think they did it without precondition. But Blair was being a bitch and he rejected my diplomacy. Still, I made alliances with Bin Laden and Ahmadinejad and used propaganda to gather the greatest population. Then I eliminated each nation using submarines. Needless to say, I felt like I was on the top of the world.
Watching the election coverage has been fun so far. The VP debate was lame but Obama was impressive in his first bout with McCain. What has really pissed me off so far, though, is McCain's character issues. Like him or not, the guy is a liar. If you look at some of the ads he's run on TV, you would know what I mean. The sad thing is, many folks voting for him believe every word he says. They also watch Fox News and think Obama is Muslim. Every time I hear some of the McCain supporters' false characterizations of Obama, I get scared about the future of America. I really do. I have nothing against people who vote for McCain, but let's be clear. Make sure your decision is based on "the fundamental differences" and not some false rumor.
Now on to other things... A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to discuss the moral issue of suicide with others. Many said it is a cowardly act. Committing suicide is the ultimate form of giving up. I can certainly understand their perspective, and I think I would agree with them in cases where social obligations play an important role. If you are an integral part of another person's life, you are doing that person injustice. This is especially the case if you have financial obligations.
But I still don't think suicide itself is immoral. The funny thing is, I value human life more than anything else. I think the ideal democratic government does, too. The point of giving people so many rights and so much control is to respect the individual. But it is out of this respect that I say suicide is not immoral. You see, no matter how hard we try, we are never going to be able to understand another person completely. Human emotions are too complex. We can try to put ourselves in another person's shoes- and that's a good thing - but we are not going to understand every thought and emotion running through that person's head. I don't know what it's like to lose an immediate family member. I don't know what it's like to be robbed of everything I've got. For the purpose of my argument, it's impossible to imagine what a person contemplating suicide is going through. It's unfair, then, for me to judge that person's actions using my moral standards. From a logical perspective, also, I think every human being should have the right to take one's own life. None of us made the choice of being born in the first place so why should we force people to live?
Looking at the bigger picture, this addresses the question of how we determine what is right and what is wrong. If people like myself give an individual so much credit, the line between right and wrong gets blurred. This can lead to pretty shitty verdicts in our court systems. The determining factor for me is how the act committed affects other people. For suicide, the severity would depend on what kind of obligations the person had. But then again, that alone may not be enough. In the meantime, the best thing for us to do for people contemplating suicide is to try to give them hope, or at least a different look at life. That's our obligation.
Lately I've been noticing a peculiar trend in female clothing. Girls are now wearing pants that bear a certain logo or phrase on the backside. When they wear it, the words are often tautly stretched across the region, and the creases add an intriguing aesthetic effect. The letters undulate to the movement of the muscle, expanding then contracting, lenghtening then shortening. Momentarily the legibility of the word is hindered by the rippling folds, and then another step forward, you see it again. It's almost like a screensaver except it's happening live and you're not quite sure what you have to press to stop it. The first time I beheld this apparel, I was so fascinated by the movement of the letters that I forgot what I was looking at. When I realized, I was embarrassed and I've trained myself to look straight ever since.
But the task has been harder than I expected. It's not that the sight is sexually stimulating. I've had the pleasure of being exposed to more titillating scenery in my long lifetime. Besides, I never had the proper sexual drive instilled in me during development because I was exerting all my efforts into learning English. It's simply that peripheral vision kicks into gear when you spy the movement of an object. I can't tell you how stressful it is to walk behind a girl wearing one of these pants. As soon as I detect the apparel, I will stare straight ahead. But once you walk a certain distance, you start wondering what that shimmering word is. What has that female chosen to plaster on her curves? I strain my eyes to try to read the letters without directly looking at her anatomy, and soon I get dizzy. One time, I thought for sure the word read "Bitch" so I couldn't resist the temptation and I glanced over, but it was actually "Fitch" as in Abercrombie and Fitch.
Lately I've been playing a game called World Domination 2. It's a simple turn-based game where you war against up to three enemy nations. Interface is simple, and you basically build up your military by upgrading technology. But the variety of weapons is cool, and you also have to plan strategically to make sure you minimize your losses. Plus, propaganda and diplomacy are interesting features. The nations are represented by caricatures of their leaders (though Zimbabwe's leader seems to resemble Tsvangirai, not Mugabe).
In my first game, I was ambitious and I squared off against bin Laden, Kim Jong Il, Mugabe/Tsvangirai, and South Korea. Almost immediately, North Korea eliminated South Korea using rockets with bioloads, and I panicked. Kim Jong Il then offered me a deal where I would have to pay him $50 mil for him to not attack me for nine turns. I said screw that, and thankfully bin Laden began attacking him. But then bin Laden pulverized me in a few turns. In the next game, I picked U.S., Iran, Bin Laden, and Tony Blair as opposition. Amazingly, Bush and Ahmadinejad made a treaty in the first turn. I think they did it without precondition. But Blair was being a bitch and he rejected my diplomacy. Still, I made alliances with Bin Laden and Ahmadinejad and used propaganda to gather the greatest population. Then I eliminated each nation using submarines. Needless to say, I felt like I was on the top of the world.
Friday, August 22, 2008
OMFG Update
I guess it's been a while since I've written. There is only one more week of summer left, and to be honest I am sort of hyped up for the senior year. I am looking forward to all the class activities. Yeah, I thought I would never say that.
My highlight of the summer was definitely spending the month of July at UCSD for COSMOS.
Some key moments:
-Remember how I talked about Black's Beach, the nude beach near UCSD? Well one class at COSMOS accidentally passed by the beach on the way back from a field trip (what a bad PR move) and found it was full of old naked white people. That's a Eurotrip moment. Yay!
-The last few days of COSMOS, a couple guys in my suite reported hearing a very scary and sinister laugh coming from god knows where past midnight. My roommate heard it around 1:30 a.m. and thought it was coming from a vent on the ceiling but we have no vents in our room. People got really freaked out, and I slept through it each time.
-Girls. Younger than 18. Off limits. Jonathan Chang thought they were hotter than girls he's used to seeing, but I didn't think so. Of course I am quite a connoisseur when it comes to the fine art of woman judging.
-During our four weeks, we had two mandatory COSMOS dances (dance, bitch!). The dances were nothing like I expected. I was really tempted to videotape the whole thing and show it to Mrs. Scott as a cultural exchange program. What happened was a mob of 40-50 people gathered in a tight circle in the center of the dance floor and started rubbing bodies against each other. I don't think it could be considered freaking because when you freak, you are usually aware of who you're interacting with. Not so in this case. This was just a giant orgy that I could not partake in because I was 18. Although... I did get freaked while drinking soda on the benches.
-My nickname. For the latter part of COSMOS, I was called the god of sex. If you are confused, check here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Min_(god)
-My professor was Dr. Carlos Vera. Bioengineering professor at UCSD with a Ph.D/M.D. He was probably the most intelligent person I've ever met. He was pretty shy and quiet but a really nice guy with a good sense of humor. He made us think out of the box and be innovative. He teaches at a medical school in Mexico every morning and then drives up to UCSD to do research. On the last day, he told me I would be an excellent scientist and that he was afraid I would love science so much that I would forget everything else in life. Definitely the biggest compliment thus far.
Yesterday when my dad came home from work, there was a pretty bad vibe between my parents as usual so I decided to take a walk around the apartment complex at night. It was the first time I had done that in a while, and it felt good. Every home has a a light hanging by the door, and when I am walking through the path lined by tall trees, it feels like I am walking in a giant forest and there are tree houses with lights. It's nice to walk by the lighted windows knowing that inside there's someone, someone like me. I wonder about what the people inside are doing and thinking. But they're surviving really, and it's a beautiful thing. I see a family sitting behind a blaring television in the living room and it makes me smile. Yesterday, there was a woman leaning out in the outside patio with a cigarette in her fingers. She was surviving too. You know what I love about airplane flights? When the plane is getting ready for landing and through the window, you see millions and millions of lights: street lights, house lights, car lights, building lights. Yeah you can talk about air pollution but it's a beautiful thing. For every light you see, someone is there. That's our civilization you see. It's like a person is standing there with a torch.
Listening to a section of Barack Obama's Q/A session at Saddleback, I was particularly struck by one thing he said. When asked why he wanted to run for president, he said that there was this American spirit of helping others. Cheering for the underdog. Believing that the person next to you can achieve their dream just like you can. And he wants to run for president because he thinks the U.S. is at a critical junction where this spirit might be in danger. I believe him. There is such a spirit at America, or at least I feel it. It's the American Beauty. It's a powerful, morally conscious, and incredibly benevolent force. Almost divine. And I also agree with him that the spirit is in jeopardy. There are both domestic and foreign causes for this. But our next president will help determine whether the spirit can live on. We are all human and one. PEACE.
Next entry: something about The Dark Knight
My highlight of the summer was definitely spending the month of July at UCSD for COSMOS.
Some key moments:
-Remember how I talked about Black's Beach, the nude beach near UCSD? Well one class at COSMOS accidentally passed by the beach on the way back from a field trip (what a bad PR move) and found it was full of old naked white people. That's a Eurotrip moment. Yay!
-The last few days of COSMOS, a couple guys in my suite reported hearing a very scary and sinister laugh coming from god knows where past midnight. My roommate heard it around 1:30 a.m. and thought it was coming from a vent on the ceiling but we have no vents in our room. People got really freaked out, and I slept through it each time.
-Girls. Younger than 18. Off limits. Jonathan Chang thought they were hotter than girls he's used to seeing, but I didn't think so. Of course I am quite a connoisseur when it comes to the fine art of woman judging.
-During our four weeks, we had two mandatory COSMOS dances (dance, bitch!). The dances were nothing like I expected. I was really tempted to videotape the whole thing and show it to Mrs. Scott as a cultural exchange program. What happened was a mob of 40-50 people gathered in a tight circle in the center of the dance floor and started rubbing bodies against each other. I don't think it could be considered freaking because when you freak, you are usually aware of who you're interacting with. Not so in this case. This was just a giant orgy that I could not partake in because I was 18. Although... I did get freaked while drinking soda on the benches.
-My nickname. For the latter part of COSMOS, I was called the god of sex. If you are confused, check here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Min_(god)
-My professor was Dr. Carlos Vera. Bioengineering professor at UCSD with a Ph.D/M.D. He was probably the most intelligent person I've ever met. He was pretty shy and quiet but a really nice guy with a good sense of humor. He made us think out of the box and be innovative. He teaches at a medical school in Mexico every morning and then drives up to UCSD to do research. On the last day, he told me I would be an excellent scientist and that he was afraid I would love science so much that I would forget everything else in life. Definitely the biggest compliment thus far.
Yesterday when my dad came home from work, there was a pretty bad vibe between my parents as usual so I decided to take a walk around the apartment complex at night. It was the first time I had done that in a while, and it felt good. Every home has a a light hanging by the door, and when I am walking through the path lined by tall trees, it feels like I am walking in a giant forest and there are tree houses with lights. It's nice to walk by the lighted windows knowing that inside there's someone, someone like me. I wonder about what the people inside are doing and thinking. But they're surviving really, and it's a beautiful thing. I see a family sitting behind a blaring television in the living room and it makes me smile. Yesterday, there was a woman leaning out in the outside patio with a cigarette in her fingers. She was surviving too. You know what I love about airplane flights? When the plane is getting ready for landing and through the window, you see millions and millions of lights: street lights, house lights, car lights, building lights. Yeah you can talk about air pollution but it's a beautiful thing. For every light you see, someone is there. That's our civilization you see. It's like a person is standing there with a torch.
Listening to a section of Barack Obama's Q/A session at Saddleback, I was particularly struck by one thing he said. When asked why he wanted to run for president, he said that there was this American spirit of helping others. Cheering for the underdog. Believing that the person next to you can achieve their dream just like you can. And he wants to run for president because he thinks the U.S. is at a critical junction where this spirit might be in danger. I believe him. There is such a spirit at America, or at least I feel it. It's the American Beauty. It's a powerful, morally conscious, and incredibly benevolent force. Almost divine. And I also agree with him that the spirit is in jeopardy. There are both domestic and foreign causes for this. But our next president will help determine whether the spirit can live on. We are all human and one. PEACE.
Next entry: something about The Dark Knight
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)