Things

For everyone getting stressed out about the upcoming AP tests, let's keep our heads up for two and a half more weeks. Really, that's how much time is left and it'll all be over before we know it. Then it's PARTY TIME!

Today I got a haircut and it's really pissing me off. My barber must have had a spurt of creativity and decided to experiment on me as a guinea pig. Basically it looks like I have a fucking propeller on my head. Symmetrically it makes no sense at all. I have a Berlin Wall at the left side of my head and then a much bolder and outrageous Great Wall of China at the right. When I got home and took a closer look (I was sleeping while getting my hair cut), I started yelling out names of ethnic headwear that my hair resembled. Man I feel duped.

For those of you who didn't have a chance to read my article in The Gamut, the Dinner in the Dark Event is on Friday, May 9 from 6:30 to 9:00 p.m. Teenagers at Braille Institute are holding the charity event to raise money for St. Jude's Children's Hospital. If you are interested in coming, you will be served dinner blindfolded to simulate what it's like to be blind. Tickets are $10, but the food will be awesome, and there will also be musical performances by students from different high schools. Let me know if you are interested.

So I asked Kat to prom last week. It was really a spur of the moment thing (at midnight before the ticket prices rose) because I never gave prom too much serious thought. Anyway I had no idea how I was going to ask her so I thought about it in the shower the next morning. Then I remembered Will Nguyen's idea about using Common's I Used to Love Her and then figured I may just rap it. After all, I've listened to the song tons of times so it shouldn't be that hard. I would just have to change some words around (I almost missed the line "A few New York niggas had did her in the park" ) and then set it up for APUSH class.

I woke Will up at 6:45 in the morning and he was kind enough to find me the instrumentals. Then I set it up with Casanova and all was good. The actual "performance". It's really hard for me to describe what I was feeling up there. It was easily the most nervewracking experience in my life. I was scared, pissed, frustrated, embarrassed all at the same time. This beat out all of my previous failures in life and all of my previous embarrassments including the time I accidentally read my diary aloud in elementary school. This beat out Kobe's adultery expose, Bill Clinton's White House affair, Nixon's humming over Watergate tapes, Napoleon's defeat at Waterloo, Kwame Brown being drafted first, etc. But nevertheless, I'm glad I did it and I hope Kat has fun.

Song of the hour: Masta Ace- Brooklyn Masala

Life Goes On

It's been a month since I last wrote in my blog. Time is passing too fast.

Some recent events:

A couple weeks ago, I received a surprise visit from Paul Song and his dad, a pastor. They were going around the apartment complex telling people about their church community. But this was one evangelical encounter I didn't mind. Paul's dad just talked to me and my mom about our family and then their family. They weren't trying to convert me or force me to attend their church service. We just shared a little bit about each other's lives, like a normal conversation. And then Paul's dad genuinely wished my family happiness and luck. This made me think again that this is really what religion is all about. It's about bringing people closer by engaging them in discussions of real life experiences and encouraging them to look out for one another.

Lakers have been playing terribly. Without Gasol and Bynum, they are shooting way too many 3's. Odom is actually playing well, but he still uses only his left hand. For God sakes, he drives to the right with his left hand.

Yesterday was the bonfire at Huntington Beach. I should've worn shorts because guys were playing tackle football. But then again it got pretty cold at night. It was nice seeing Todd and Kunhee again. I didn't have as much fun as I hoped to because I was just damn tired. I remember standing in front of the fire next to Justin (he was bizarrely indecisive about serenading with his guitar) and just staring at the fire. I was sort of in a state of trance, and I remember thinking deeply about something but I don't remember what it was. That pretty much sums up my life.

Recently I've been thinking about this girl I've known for a while. For some reason, we've never gotten to know each other well. The thing is, she's one of the few people whose personality and character are complete mysteries to me. Even though I may not talk to some people, I at least know what they are like by listening to what they say or observing how they act. Not with this girl. A big part of that is I haven't talked to her that much. It's strange, I think we have many many similarities. We can both talk a lot but somehow find something in each other that prevents us from talking to each other.

Song of the century: Common- I Used to Love H.E.R.

February 27

Farewell, my youth and innocence. Farewell, Hannah Montana.

Basketball, Forgiveness, In N Out

Yesterday, I had a lot more fun than I've had in a while. I met up with Ashish and we played basketball at Central Park. Ashish is pretty skinny still but apparently has been going to gym to prep for track. Even though I reminded him that he is genetically inferior, he kept trying to do the Dwight Howard superman dunk. We played 21 with this middle-aged Korean man and he kept making 3-pointers from the very deep corner (almost behind the backboard). My stroke was horrible but I still won somehow. Then we played 4 on 4 with what looked like guys in college. They were pretty chill. There was one big guy on my team that they kept calling DJ Mbenga. They also called Ashish "Jubran" every time he got the ball. We played two games up to 15 and split.

After basketball, I went over to Ashish's house and watched the second half of the All Star Game. I was getting pissed because I wanted Kobe to take over the fourth quarter and skeet all over Ray Allen and LeBron. Oh well, next time.

I've been thinking about it for a while and I've decided I'm glad that humans can forgive other people. If we stayed mad at each other for too long, the world would be a lot messier. Hurt feelings go a long way, but I don't think hatred or anger lasts as long. I occasionally get very angry at people and I will take some sort of hostile action then and there, but the anger tends to fade. Then I get a chance to reevaluate the situation when I'm clearheaded.

Oh, and this made my day on Friday. Strange things happen when I go to In N Out. First, I lose my interest in Latinas. And now this. I was standing in line to get a double-double when I overheard a group of girls sitting at a table behind me. Amazingly, they all seemed to be of different nationalities like it was a Toyota commercial. So as I am standing there, I suddenly hear them whispering about something. Then I hear this: "His calves are big." I was wearing cargo shorts but I didn't pretend to hear. I wasn't sure it was me anyway. Then this: "His butt is pretty cute."

Now wait a minute (good ole Mr. Cullinane) you gotta understand something. I've been getting lots of crap about my gluteus maximus lately. In fact on Friday, Kathleen told me in APUSH to "move my booty" because it was preventing her from reading something. In other words, my buns are quite toasty and they won't lie about it. But the girl's choice of diction "cute" was what really struck me. I've heard girls describe some of the damnest things as cute, and this was another instance. Blessed with a visual learning style, I then tried to picture my butt for a millisecond and wondered whether it was indeed cute. As I became conscious of all this chaos swirling in my head, I began cracking up. Then the girls started cracking up behind me. At that moment, I couldn't decide whether or not to turn around but I was saved by the counter lady who took my order. Then as I walked out with my order, I grinned at them and they cracked up again. I have to say that was once in a lifetime experience.

Woohoo three day weekend! February is an awesome month because we have two straight Mondays off. Plus my birthday is coming up, which I share with Kat and Sean Kim.

Recently I've been getting constantly reminded of flaws in my character. I guess I am pretty hypocritical sometimes. I demand a lot from others though I may not set the same standards for myself. I also look at situations from my point of view with my set of beliefs. When things don't go the way I expect, I get disappointed and the feeling can be crushing. I don't always show tons of emotion, but my first response to anything is usually an emotional one. As I've matured, I've been able to reevaluate that initial response against my cold logic before it triggers a behavior, but emotions always linger...

I don't know why but I become very attached to people I come in contact with. They may not be my friends or even people who know me very well but I always feel the need to check up on them if I don't know how they are doing. Many people I meet make very deep impressions on me, and I will never forget them regardless of how long I have known them. Then there are times when I feel a desperate need to make sure they are ok. I want them to be happy and successful. And I hope to meet them again. It's a hard feeling to describe.

Lakers managed to beat the Magics today even after giving up 44 points in the first quarter. Pau Gasol scored 30 points and he showed lots of fire throughout the game. I love Gasol's game: jump hooks with either hand, post-up footwork, face-up game, soft touch, free throw proficiency, and 17-foot jumpers. He's also rejuvenated Odom's playmaking skills by drawing double teams and luring his defender out to the perimeter.

Speaking of Gasol, I pulled a Kwame Brown-Pau Gasol trade of my own today. Stephen offered his delicious chicken bake in exchange for my chicken patty cafeteria lunch. I had always thought chicken bake was a misnomer for baked chicken but apparently it comes with a burrito countenance. Clearly I got Gasol in that tradeoff.

Vista or XP? I got a laptop with Vista but I think I'll trade it in for a XP.

Today in APUSH, Kat said that I am going to be a millionaire in the future but then changed her mind and said I would be a Chippendale dancer. I didn't even know what that was at first. Then this suddenly happened during lunch: I was leaning against the basketball pole and then I stretched my arms behind my head to grab the pole. Feeling the surprisingly soft texture of the pole, I said out loud something like, "This pole feels so good." Apparently I haven't been getting enough sleep.

Check out this addictive game and have a wonderful three-day weekend. http://gprime.net/game.php/athleteballsnwalls

End of Semester

So today the first semester came to a close. When I was doing the registration cards last year, I definitely underestimated the amount of work those classes would entail. Actually, I overestimated my ability to manage time well. But I don't have any regrets about how I've been performing and I am glad about that. It will be interesting how classes shift in the second semester. I would like to see teachers start preparing us for AP Exams as soon as possible.

Students deserve a week off after the first semester of junior year. I wouldn't mind swapping a week of summer vacation for one right now. But I made best of the half-day today by visiting my elementary school teachers. I hadn't visited them since leaving for Oxford so it was a good reunion. I truly believe that elementary school teachers play an important role in a child's development. Teachers can make the process of learning enjoyable for students and get them excited about life. My 4th and 5th grade teachers did that, and I am very grateful to them.

After visiting my elementary, I walked to La Palma Hospital for my physical. This meant I had a chance to walk on the winding trail that cuts across the huge patches of meadows behind the school. It is really fascinating how a faceless chunk of land in the winter transforms as the seasons come and go. It is my only connection with nature where I live, but sometimes it's sufficient. In the spring, you can really feel the vigor of new life as you walk on new grass. Fall brings about the most dramatic changes; green will turn russet and reddish brown, and rings of flower petals form around tree trunks.

Anyway, I digress. Two noteworthy things happened on my way to the hospital. 1) I saw Andrew Park driving a big black van that reminded me of Escalade. He looked like Rambo. 2) A bunch of white guys in a compact car said "Fuck you" as they drove past me. As they stopped at the red light, I actually shouted without thinking, "Manifest destiny can't save you from black people." Their brief reply was the same as their opening argument.

Oh, and Mrs. Spencer now knows two things about me: 1) I like Latinas and 2) I like Hannah Montana. Neither piece of information helps me at all in that class. Have a nice three-day break everyone.

Update

So I haven't updated in a while. School's a drag as usual, and I am falling into the habit of procrastinating which is frustrating. But the first semester is coming to a close soon. I am not sure if it's right that I am looking forward to the end of this schoolyear. As cliche as it is, me as a high school student will be gone soon, never to return, so I should enjoy this. Sadly I have very few special memories of my life as Oxford student. I've been able to meet some great people through Oxford but that satisfaction from forming a bond with nature or spending time with friends has been rare.

Meanwhile after the recent school rally, I wanted to address this issue that our class lacks class spirit. It seems that some people in our class are upset because we never win those fictitious spirit points and because we never cheer as loudly as other classes. To be honest, I think our class cheer rocked at the last rally. You can never go wrong by handing the mic off to Minh.

I think school rallies provide some of the much needed change from monotonous Oxford schedule but time could be better spent. I've never completely understood the purpose of class cheers. In fact, they symbolize everything that is wrong with society. Volume outweighs substance; the louder you shout out the nonsensical phrases, the better. Whenever I find myself surrounded by the yelling masses in the gym, I am reminded of the immense power wielded by an unthinking mob. Chants, loud chants, lull participants into groupthink. The winner of the best cheer is decided arbitrarily by judges with vested interest. The competitiveness of the game also leaves losers with a bitter aftertaste.

Despite my self-consciousness, though, I do try to take part in the rally as much as possible. That's because our class committee is really committed to this thing and works hard every time to try to make up a good cheer for us. It would be disrespectful to not participate. Still, I think we should come up with some laid-back, out-of-the-box class cheer that pokes fun at the whole event.


My birthday is coming up soon, and 18's a pretty significant number so I'm trying to think of ways to celebrate. Any ideas?

- EDIT -

I realized that I let my nonsensical, overblown (Seth would say liberal and anarchistic) comparisons of school rallies to sociological dysfunction distracted me from my main argument. I don't disapprove school rallies because the shouting involved poses some symbolic threat to our well-being. I simply don't feel inspired enough by the substance of a school rally to shout. To me, cheers and little mini-games don't do class competitions justice. They are not worth bickering about with people in other classes.