Merry Christmas, everybody. This season, I've got a lot to be thankful for. I think the top two on my list are my personal growth and my friends. It's some good stuff. Now I want to celebrate this occasion by wishing the Lakers luck in their game today and sharing some wise words from Isaiah's blog:
"I was sitting in the train on my way back from rome.
Yeah, i went to rome. It was the host family i'm living with and the neighbors to our left.
They are a family of three, one daughter, who i think is 13 years old.
the kids were seated together. so my two host brothers and the girl. Madalena or however it's spelled.
The younger brother is in class with her. so as they were doing their homework, i looked at her planner, or diario in italian. i looked in the back and there were stickers.
i dont even remember the last sticker i got, just kidding.
The last time i got a sticker was when i donated blood at the school blood drive last year.
It was my first blood donation, and not my last. I almost fainted.
But anyway, the sticker made me feel so much better. it said "I did it"
I took about 30 of them.
Stickers make people feel good. sometimes people just want to show off and are always showing people the new happy face sticker on their right hand. but for me, stickers aren't to show off. just for my pleasure, especially when i come across those scratch and sniff ones. you can never go wrong with those unless they make black licorice or black jelly bean scented ones.
but as you know, stickers arent forever. eventually they will loose their sticky adhesive, unless you decide to put it on a paper that you scored well on.
as far as i see it, many things are stickers.
Being in italy, i've seen so much beautiful art, architecture, and food.
I've never seen thing so beautiful in my life living in southern california.
being at the beach brings a sense of serenity, but i would much rather stare at the painted ceilings and carved marble statues endlessly dressing the walls of the churches.
But the second time around, it's like that sticker that you've lifted off to relocate it, but there's that one corner of the star that doesnt quite stick.
so what's the solution to having a sticker on forever. to have those butterflies flying in your stomach forever. maybe to show off, or maybe just to graze in the grasses of happiness.
yes, you are right. get a tattoo. tattoo's that i've seen all have dragons and chinese symbols, or flames. so cliché. i personally at this moment would not get a tattoo. because a 100 pack of stickers might give me the same amount of happiness without the pain, or a thread of regret.
so essentially tattoo's arent the solution. they hurt, are permanent (more or less), and will cost more than stickers. and if you want another tattoo in the same place. good luck.
so with one sticker comes an addiction.
maybe you'd want something bigger
a different animal
a different color
more shiny
or
"i did it again"
maybe we're just seeking for some kind of acknowledgement whether it comes from yourself or from another. maybe it's not the sticker that we come to appreciate, but the meaning behind the sticker. the "yippee" feeling that's granted through the sticker's sticky adhesive.
fundamentally like a nicotine patch.
but i've come to the conclusion.
sticker's wont always be there. in my situation, the people, the art, the beauty in general will shortly be far out of my reach, actually out of sight.
so is a boy supposed to do?
i've decided to use tape. because tape never really runs out, you can always buy more tape
i have never heard of a piece of tape that has sentimental value.
so use tape until it runs out.
which in my situation my role of tape is time.
i'm on a mission to wear all the stickers i can find.
spend time with the friends i'll be far from sight by february
and avoid those who smell like black licorice and jelly beans
unlike tattoos, you always have a choice of wearing the sticker.
so cast away those that stink, and use tape to make the scented stickers last as long as they can.
damnit. the little brother came in and started whining so i lost my train of concentration.
i ran out of coal."
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Conversation
Surk14 (9:18:29 PM): well hmm let me try to explain
Surk14 (9:19:05 PM): it's sort of how when you do heroin, it gets less and less pleasurable
Surk14 (9:19:18 PM): and you are always reaching for that first high
Surk14 (9:19:23 PM): but you always fall short
Surk14 (9:19:49 PM): falling in love is always a delusion
Surk14 (9:19:57 PM): but you buy less and less into it as time passes
Surk14 (9:20:23 PM): i think delusion is not an accurate word
Surk14 (9:20:50 PM): it's more that your ability to perceive and understand the girl in relation to you is deteriorating
Surk14 (9:19:05 PM): it's sort of how when you do heroin, it gets less and less pleasurable
Surk14 (9:19:18 PM): and you are always reaching for that first high
Surk14 (9:19:23 PM): but you always fall short
Surk14 (9:19:49 PM): falling in love is always a delusion
Surk14 (9:19:57 PM): but you buy less and less into it as time passes
Surk14 (9:20:23 PM): i think delusion is not an accurate word
Surk14 (9:20:50 PM): it's more that your ability to perceive and understand the girl in relation to you is deteriorating
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Today is Pepero Day
A friend informed me that my last post about suicide was featured on a site called suicidegirlsmeetup.com. I went on the site and wasn't able to determine exactly what it was. It is basically a compilation of various articles and blog posts, but they don't all seem to deal with suicide. I don't know about you, but "suicidegirlsmeetup" is screaming cult at me. I hope my post does not somehow encourage girls to take their own lives. I hope the second part of my post, dealing with the hypnotic movement of letters etched across their butts, convinces them that seducing men with such clothing is worth living for.
I've been doing a lot of thinking about my life and future recently. I don't really know what to think of my life. My happiest days were childhood, that's for sure. Growing up in a small town in Seoul, Korea, I was blessed with a natural playground in the mountains that overlooked my home. Starting at the age of five, my friends and I made our way up the gentle slope, exploring uncharted territories and admiring the changing seasons. I spent time in nature practically every day, whether it was catching dragonflies or collecting maple leaves in autumn.
There are many people who have an irrational belief that nature can solve their problems and give them happiness, and I am one of them. I really think if we spent more time in nature, it can strengthen our physical, spiritual, and psychological health. Humans are animals, and animals' natural habitat is nature. We are not meant to live the way we do here. I don't know how I would have turned out if it weren't for my childhood. Spending time on those mountains- seeing, hearing, smelling, and touching- gave me much to endure the passionless living I lead today. You know what I love about weddings and big family dinners at my cousin's? Looking at all the scenery outside the car window as I am getting there. Sometimes I see a stretch of vast brown sea, all hills and short grasses and little shrubbery. I just want to get out of the car and walk around. Yes, I need a greater connection to nature here. Can I get a lake or a mountain somewhere in La Palma?
I guess the ancient builders of our civilizations might not have entirely discounted the fact that we are animals. After all, the city was traditionally a place for people to gather and interact with each other, and people are part of nature. But that reminds me - I lack human contact as well. A few weeks or months ago, I put up a poll asking whether you feel lonely or need someone to talk to. Ten out of eighteen people said yes (it feels good to cite my own study though the methodology is questionable). With Internet and technology, we are more connected than ever yet we are in need of intimate and genuine human relationships, perhaps more than ever. For me, the problem is that I simply don't invest enough time in my relationships. Friendships are a lot of work. You have to talk to your friends and get to know them. It's not about asking for help on homework or making small talk as you're standing to buy your dance ticket. It's about taking time out of your life solely for the purpose of spending time with your friends. Watching movies or playing video games with friends doesn't really count; there is still little interaction between you and your friends. When's the last time you sat next to a friend and just talked? It's been a while since I've done that. I'm going to try to spend more time with friends, talking to them by the locker or going out to eat.
Recently I've been talking to Isaiah Chang online, and for those who don't know yet, it turns out he's studying abroad in Italy. I think everyone who's had a chance to meet Isaiah appreciates his sense of humor, but I've always thought he was a special guy. He really lives life to the fullest. I mean the fullest. He is never afraid to try anything, and he wants to try everything. I remember last Halloween, he and Tony Robinson completely shaved their legs for their trick-o-treating venture. And now studying abroad at Italy where there is no one else who speaks English or looks Asian. I don't think I have the courage to do that. Isaiah is staying with an Italian family and meeting hot Italian girls, and not surprisingly, he is quite enjoying himself. I admire his adventurous spirit and hope I, too, can let myself go one day. Meanwhile, while he's in Italy, I was hoping someone could bring a laptop to school so we could talk to him via webcam. Like the Cisco Human Network commercial. And here is the link to his blog which he updates frequently:
www.unibeefly.blogspot.com
Speaking of hot girls, I have rediscovered my passion for Latinas. I realize that I have not rationalized and justified my discriminatory love quite yet- I think I will save that for one of my dreamier moods on a rainy day. But at the moment I am trying to find a buddy icon that aptly portrays my ideal Latina. First, it was "Latina mami," a sultry animated doll wearing a crimson tanktop (midriffs, yay!) and stylish black hat. Then I changed it to "Latina hunnie," a more proportional figure donning lavender splendor. And finally, I found an attractive and somehow intellectual, demure, and confident Latina, but it was all spoiled by the stereotypical sign "Chica bonita." Is it possible to instill a computer image with virtues of kindness, sense of humor, integrity, poise, and grace? If so, I need a new buddy icon.
I live in a second-floor apartment home and from the window in my room, I can see the top of garage roofs outside (the garages that are not attached to buildings). It's always interesting to see the objects that are sitting on the roof. There's a screwdriver, some random black stones, a walking stick, and then a book. The black stones and walking stick you can kind of figure out how they got there. Some kids were bored and decided to chuck them. But a screwdriver and book? I wonder who might have thrown those up there and why. Maybe people just wanted to see what those objects look like on top of a roof. I mean I think it's pretty cool. And we all like to know we exist sometime. Maybe they chucked them up reveling in their small rebellion against society and convention, convincing themselves of the symbolic significance of the objects and their actions, and finding delight in their own little secret. Hey, that's probably how gangs started hanging shoes on telephone wires. And people started peeing in the shower and writing postcards about them. That's weird, though.
And to finish off this post, I proudly present to you the first American rap music video ever to feature an Asian lady. Now I don't know about you, but I think she is pretty hot (she gets a 9 on my Mohs scale hehe). Ok, she really deserves more footage though. And something other than serving drinks to black women. Test your concentration and attention to detail by counting the number of her ultra-brief appearances, including flashes of her anatomy, in the first 90 seconds of the video. She first appears at 0:32. Answers are at the bottom.
7 Times.
(0:31.5-0:33)
(0:37-0:38, behind Nelly's head)
(0:47.5-0:48, right of Ashanti)
(0:57-0:58, left of Nelly)
(1:15-1:15.6, right of Ashanti)
(1:20-1:22, serving drinks)
(1:28-1:28.22, passing by Akon)
I've been doing a lot of thinking about my life and future recently. I don't really know what to think of my life. My happiest days were childhood, that's for sure. Growing up in a small town in Seoul, Korea, I was blessed with a natural playground in the mountains that overlooked my home. Starting at the age of five, my friends and I made our way up the gentle slope, exploring uncharted territories and admiring the changing seasons. I spent time in nature practically every day, whether it was catching dragonflies or collecting maple leaves in autumn.
There are many people who have an irrational belief that nature can solve their problems and give them happiness, and I am one of them. I really think if we spent more time in nature, it can strengthen our physical, spiritual, and psychological health. Humans are animals, and animals' natural habitat is nature. We are not meant to live the way we do here. I don't know how I would have turned out if it weren't for my childhood. Spending time on those mountains- seeing, hearing, smelling, and touching- gave me much to endure the passionless living I lead today. You know what I love about weddings and big family dinners at my cousin's? Looking at all the scenery outside the car window as I am getting there. Sometimes I see a stretch of vast brown sea, all hills and short grasses and little shrubbery. I just want to get out of the car and walk around. Yes, I need a greater connection to nature here. Can I get a lake or a mountain somewhere in La Palma?
I guess the ancient builders of our civilizations might not have entirely discounted the fact that we are animals. After all, the city was traditionally a place for people to gather and interact with each other, and people are part of nature. But that reminds me - I lack human contact as well. A few weeks or months ago, I put up a poll asking whether you feel lonely or need someone to talk to. Ten out of eighteen people said yes (it feels good to cite my own study though the methodology is questionable). With Internet and technology, we are more connected than ever yet we are in need of intimate and genuine human relationships, perhaps more than ever. For me, the problem is that I simply don't invest enough time in my relationships. Friendships are a lot of work. You have to talk to your friends and get to know them. It's not about asking for help on homework or making small talk as you're standing to buy your dance ticket. It's about taking time out of your life solely for the purpose of spending time with your friends. Watching movies or playing video games with friends doesn't really count; there is still little interaction between you and your friends. When's the last time you sat next to a friend and just talked? It's been a while since I've done that. I'm going to try to spend more time with friends, talking to them by the locker or going out to eat.
Recently I've been talking to Isaiah Chang online, and for those who don't know yet, it turns out he's studying abroad in Italy. I think everyone who's had a chance to meet Isaiah appreciates his sense of humor, but I've always thought he was a special guy. He really lives life to the fullest. I mean the fullest. He is never afraid to try anything, and he wants to try everything. I remember last Halloween, he and Tony Robinson completely shaved their legs for their trick-o-treating venture. And now studying abroad at Italy where there is no one else who speaks English or looks Asian. I don't think I have the courage to do that. Isaiah is staying with an Italian family and meeting hot Italian girls, and not surprisingly, he is quite enjoying himself. I admire his adventurous spirit and hope I, too, can let myself go one day. Meanwhile, while he's in Italy, I was hoping someone could bring a laptop to school so we could talk to him via webcam. Like the Cisco Human Network commercial. And here is the link to his blog which he updates frequently:
www.unibeefly.blogspot.com
Speaking of hot girls, I have rediscovered my passion for Latinas. I realize that I have not rationalized and justified my discriminatory love quite yet- I think I will save that for one of my dreamier moods on a rainy day. But at the moment I am trying to find a buddy icon that aptly portrays my ideal Latina. First, it was "Latina mami," a sultry animated doll wearing a crimson tanktop (midriffs, yay!) and stylish black hat. Then I changed it to "Latina hunnie," a more proportional figure donning lavender splendor. And finally, I found an attractive and somehow intellectual, demure, and confident Latina, but it was all spoiled by the stereotypical sign "Chica bonita." Is it possible to instill a computer image with virtues of kindness, sense of humor, integrity, poise, and grace? If so, I need a new buddy icon.
I live in a second-floor apartment home and from the window in my room, I can see the top of garage roofs outside (the garages that are not attached to buildings). It's always interesting to see the objects that are sitting on the roof. There's a screwdriver, some random black stones, a walking stick, and then a book. The black stones and walking stick you can kind of figure out how they got there. Some kids were bored and decided to chuck them. But a screwdriver and book? I wonder who might have thrown those up there and why. Maybe people just wanted to see what those objects look like on top of a roof. I mean I think it's pretty cool. And we all like to know we exist sometime. Maybe they chucked them up reveling in their small rebellion against society and convention, convincing themselves of the symbolic significance of the objects and their actions, and finding delight in their own little secret. Hey, that's probably how gangs started hanging shoes on telephone wires. And people started peeing in the shower and writing postcards about them. That's weird, though.
And to finish off this post, I proudly present to you the first American rap music video ever to feature an Asian lady. Now I don't know about you, but I think she is pretty hot (she gets a 9 on my Mohs scale hehe). Ok, she really deserves more footage though. And something other than serving drinks to black women. Test your concentration and attention to detail by counting the number of her ultra-brief appearances, including flashes of her anatomy, in the first 90 seconds of the video. She first appears at 0:32. Answers are at the bottom.
7 Times.
(0:31.5-0:33)
(0:37-0:38, behind Nelly's head)
(0:47.5-0:48, right of Ashanti)
(0:57-0:58, left of Nelly)
(1:15-1:15.6, right of Ashanti)
(1:20-1:22, serving drinks)
(1:28-1:28.22, passing by Akon)
Friday, October 3, 2008
Lala
I think I am in danger of getting B's this quarter or semester. I usually downplay my performance and abilities for various reasons but this time I'm pretty sure of it. I'm getting my ass kicked in pretty much all my classes. Maybe I am not investing as much time and effort into school as I should. But one thing I noticed is my brain just doesn't work the way it used to. My memory is feeble and my ability to process information has been significantly compromised. There was a time when I could do mental math much faster. My vocabulary was outstanding in eighth grade but slowly it's been declining. I honestly believe I've passed my prime. The regression started when I got DSL. When you can download at 150-200kb/sec, your brain stops giving a fuck.
Watching the election coverage has been fun so far. The VP debate was lame but Obama was impressive in his first bout with McCain. What has really pissed me off so far, though, is McCain's character issues. Like him or not, the guy is a liar. If you look at some of the ads he's run on TV, you would know what I mean. The sad thing is, many folks voting for him believe every word he says. They also watch Fox News and think Obama is Muslim. Every time I hear some of the McCain supporters' false characterizations of Obama, I get scared about the future of America. I really do. I have nothing against people who vote for McCain, but let's be clear. Make sure your decision is based on "the fundamental differences" and not some false rumor.
Now on to other things... A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to discuss the moral issue of suicide with others. Many said it is a cowardly act. Committing suicide is the ultimate form of giving up. I can certainly understand their perspective, and I think I would agree with them in cases where social obligations play an important role. If you are an integral part of another person's life, you are doing that person injustice. This is especially the case if you have financial obligations.
But I still don't think suicide itself is immoral. The funny thing is, I value human life more than anything else. I think the ideal democratic government does, too. The point of giving people so many rights and so much control is to respect the individual. But it is out of this respect that I say suicide is not immoral. You see, no matter how hard we try, we are never going to be able to understand another person completely. Human emotions are too complex. We can try to put ourselves in another person's shoes- and that's a good thing - but we are not going to understand every thought and emotion running through that person's head. I don't know what it's like to lose an immediate family member. I don't know what it's like to be robbed of everything I've got. For the purpose of my argument, it's impossible to imagine what a person contemplating suicide is going through. It's unfair, then, for me to judge that person's actions using my moral standards. From a logical perspective, also, I think every human being should have the right to take one's own life. None of us made the choice of being born in the first place so why should we force people to live?
Looking at the bigger picture, this addresses the question of how we determine what is right and what is wrong. If people like myself give an individual so much credit, the line between right and wrong gets blurred. This can lead to pretty shitty verdicts in our court systems. The determining factor for me is how the act committed affects other people. For suicide, the severity would depend on what kind of obligations the person had. But then again, that alone may not be enough. In the meantime, the best thing for us to do for people contemplating suicide is to try to give them hope, or at least a different look at life. That's our obligation.
Lately I've been noticing a peculiar trend in female clothing. Girls are now wearing pants that bear a certain logo or phrase on the backside. When they wear it, the words are often tautly stretched across the region, and the creases add an intriguing aesthetic effect. The letters undulate to the movement of the muscle, expanding then contracting, lenghtening then shortening. Momentarily the legibility of the word is hindered by the rippling folds, and then another step forward, you see it again. It's almost like a screensaver except it's happening live and you're not quite sure what you have to press to stop it. The first time I beheld this apparel, I was so fascinated by the movement of the letters that I forgot what I was looking at. When I realized, I was embarrassed and I've trained myself to look straight ever since.
But the task has been harder than I expected. It's not that the sight is sexually stimulating. I've had the pleasure of being exposed to more titillating scenery in my long lifetime. Besides, I never had the proper sexual drive instilled in me during development because I was exerting all my efforts into learning English. It's simply that peripheral vision kicks into gear when you spy the movement of an object. I can't tell you how stressful it is to walk behind a girl wearing one of these pants. As soon as I detect the apparel, I will stare straight ahead. But once you walk a certain distance, you start wondering what that shimmering word is. What has that female chosen to plaster on her curves? I strain my eyes to try to read the letters without directly looking at her anatomy, and soon I get dizzy. One time, I thought for sure the word read "Bitch" so I couldn't resist the temptation and I glanced over, but it was actually "Fitch" as in Abercrombie and Fitch.
Lately I've been playing a game called World Domination 2. It's a simple turn-based game where you war against up to three enemy nations. Interface is simple, and you basically build up your military by upgrading technology. But the variety of weapons is cool, and you also have to plan strategically to make sure you minimize your losses. Plus, propaganda and diplomacy are interesting features. The nations are represented by caricatures of their leaders (though Zimbabwe's leader seems to resemble Tsvangirai, not Mugabe).
In my first game, I was ambitious and I squared off against bin Laden, Kim Jong Il, Mugabe/Tsvangirai, and South Korea. Almost immediately, North Korea eliminated South Korea using rockets with bioloads, and I panicked. Kim Jong Il then offered me a deal where I would have to pay him $50 mil for him to not attack me for nine turns. I said screw that, and thankfully bin Laden began attacking him. But then bin Laden pulverized me in a few turns. In the next game, I picked U.S., Iran, Bin Laden, and Tony Blair as opposition. Amazingly, Bush and Ahmadinejad made a treaty in the first turn. I think they did it without precondition. But Blair was being a bitch and he rejected my diplomacy. Still, I made alliances with Bin Laden and Ahmadinejad and used propaganda to gather the greatest population. Then I eliminated each nation using submarines. Needless to say, I felt like I was on the top of the world.
Watching the election coverage has been fun so far. The VP debate was lame but Obama was impressive in his first bout with McCain. What has really pissed me off so far, though, is McCain's character issues. Like him or not, the guy is a liar. If you look at some of the ads he's run on TV, you would know what I mean. The sad thing is, many folks voting for him believe every word he says. They also watch Fox News and think Obama is Muslim. Every time I hear some of the McCain supporters' false characterizations of Obama, I get scared about the future of America. I really do. I have nothing against people who vote for McCain, but let's be clear. Make sure your decision is based on "the fundamental differences" and not some false rumor.
Now on to other things... A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to discuss the moral issue of suicide with others. Many said it is a cowardly act. Committing suicide is the ultimate form of giving up. I can certainly understand their perspective, and I think I would agree with them in cases where social obligations play an important role. If you are an integral part of another person's life, you are doing that person injustice. This is especially the case if you have financial obligations.
But I still don't think suicide itself is immoral. The funny thing is, I value human life more than anything else. I think the ideal democratic government does, too. The point of giving people so many rights and so much control is to respect the individual. But it is out of this respect that I say suicide is not immoral. You see, no matter how hard we try, we are never going to be able to understand another person completely. Human emotions are too complex. We can try to put ourselves in another person's shoes- and that's a good thing - but we are not going to understand every thought and emotion running through that person's head. I don't know what it's like to lose an immediate family member. I don't know what it's like to be robbed of everything I've got. For the purpose of my argument, it's impossible to imagine what a person contemplating suicide is going through. It's unfair, then, for me to judge that person's actions using my moral standards. From a logical perspective, also, I think every human being should have the right to take one's own life. None of us made the choice of being born in the first place so why should we force people to live?
Looking at the bigger picture, this addresses the question of how we determine what is right and what is wrong. If people like myself give an individual so much credit, the line between right and wrong gets blurred. This can lead to pretty shitty verdicts in our court systems. The determining factor for me is how the act committed affects other people. For suicide, the severity would depend on what kind of obligations the person had. But then again, that alone may not be enough. In the meantime, the best thing for us to do for people contemplating suicide is to try to give them hope, or at least a different look at life. That's our obligation.
Lately I've been noticing a peculiar trend in female clothing. Girls are now wearing pants that bear a certain logo or phrase on the backside. When they wear it, the words are often tautly stretched across the region, and the creases add an intriguing aesthetic effect. The letters undulate to the movement of the muscle, expanding then contracting, lenghtening then shortening. Momentarily the legibility of the word is hindered by the rippling folds, and then another step forward, you see it again. It's almost like a screensaver except it's happening live and you're not quite sure what you have to press to stop it. The first time I beheld this apparel, I was so fascinated by the movement of the letters that I forgot what I was looking at. When I realized, I was embarrassed and I've trained myself to look straight ever since.
But the task has been harder than I expected. It's not that the sight is sexually stimulating. I've had the pleasure of being exposed to more titillating scenery in my long lifetime. Besides, I never had the proper sexual drive instilled in me during development because I was exerting all my efforts into learning English. It's simply that peripheral vision kicks into gear when you spy the movement of an object. I can't tell you how stressful it is to walk behind a girl wearing one of these pants. As soon as I detect the apparel, I will stare straight ahead. But once you walk a certain distance, you start wondering what that shimmering word is. What has that female chosen to plaster on her curves? I strain my eyes to try to read the letters without directly looking at her anatomy, and soon I get dizzy. One time, I thought for sure the word read "Bitch" so I couldn't resist the temptation and I glanced over, but it was actually "Fitch" as in Abercrombie and Fitch.
Lately I've been playing a game called World Domination 2. It's a simple turn-based game where you war against up to three enemy nations. Interface is simple, and you basically build up your military by upgrading technology. But the variety of weapons is cool, and you also have to plan strategically to make sure you minimize your losses. Plus, propaganda and diplomacy are interesting features. The nations are represented by caricatures of their leaders (though Zimbabwe's leader seems to resemble Tsvangirai, not Mugabe).
In my first game, I was ambitious and I squared off against bin Laden, Kim Jong Il, Mugabe/Tsvangirai, and South Korea. Almost immediately, North Korea eliminated South Korea using rockets with bioloads, and I panicked. Kim Jong Il then offered me a deal where I would have to pay him $50 mil for him to not attack me for nine turns. I said screw that, and thankfully bin Laden began attacking him. But then bin Laden pulverized me in a few turns. In the next game, I picked U.S., Iran, Bin Laden, and Tony Blair as opposition. Amazingly, Bush and Ahmadinejad made a treaty in the first turn. I think they did it without precondition. But Blair was being a bitch and he rejected my diplomacy. Still, I made alliances with Bin Laden and Ahmadinejad and used propaganda to gather the greatest population. Then I eliminated each nation using submarines. Needless to say, I felt like I was on the top of the world.
Friday, August 22, 2008
OMFG Update
I guess it's been a while since I've written. There is only one more week of summer left, and to be honest I am sort of hyped up for the senior year. I am looking forward to all the class activities. Yeah, I thought I would never say that.
My highlight of the summer was definitely spending the month of July at UCSD for COSMOS.
Some key moments:
-Remember how I talked about Black's Beach, the nude beach near UCSD? Well one class at COSMOS accidentally passed by the beach on the way back from a field trip (what a bad PR move) and found it was full of old naked white people. That's a Eurotrip moment. Yay!
-The last few days of COSMOS, a couple guys in my suite reported hearing a very scary and sinister laugh coming from god knows where past midnight. My roommate heard it around 1:30 a.m. and thought it was coming from a vent on the ceiling but we have no vents in our room. People got really freaked out, and I slept through it each time.
-Girls. Younger than 18. Off limits. Jonathan Chang thought they were hotter than girls he's used to seeing, but I didn't think so. Of course I am quite a connoisseur when it comes to the fine art of woman judging.
-During our four weeks, we had two mandatory COSMOS dances (dance, bitch!). The dances were nothing like I expected. I was really tempted to videotape the whole thing and show it to Mrs. Scott as a cultural exchange program. What happened was a mob of 40-50 people gathered in a tight circle in the center of the dance floor and started rubbing bodies against each other. I don't think it could be considered freaking because when you freak, you are usually aware of who you're interacting with. Not so in this case. This was just a giant orgy that I could not partake in because I was 18. Although... I did get freaked while drinking soda on the benches.
-My nickname. For the latter part of COSMOS, I was called the god of sex. If you are confused, check here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Min_(god)
-My professor was Dr. Carlos Vera. Bioengineering professor at UCSD with a Ph.D/M.D. He was probably the most intelligent person I've ever met. He was pretty shy and quiet but a really nice guy with a good sense of humor. He made us think out of the box and be innovative. He teaches at a medical school in Mexico every morning and then drives up to UCSD to do research. On the last day, he told me I would be an excellent scientist and that he was afraid I would love science so much that I would forget everything else in life. Definitely the biggest compliment thus far.
Yesterday when my dad came home from work, there was a pretty bad vibe between my parents as usual so I decided to take a walk around the apartment complex at night. It was the first time I had done that in a while, and it felt good. Every home has a a light hanging by the door, and when I am walking through the path lined by tall trees, it feels like I am walking in a giant forest and there are tree houses with lights. It's nice to walk by the lighted windows knowing that inside there's someone, someone like me. I wonder about what the people inside are doing and thinking. But they're surviving really, and it's a beautiful thing. I see a family sitting behind a blaring television in the living room and it makes me smile. Yesterday, there was a woman leaning out in the outside patio with a cigarette in her fingers. She was surviving too. You know what I love about airplane flights? When the plane is getting ready for landing and through the window, you see millions and millions of lights: street lights, house lights, car lights, building lights. Yeah you can talk about air pollution but it's a beautiful thing. For every light you see, someone is there. That's our civilization you see. It's like a person is standing there with a torch.
Listening to a section of Barack Obama's Q/A session at Saddleback, I was particularly struck by one thing he said. When asked why he wanted to run for president, he said that there was this American spirit of helping others. Cheering for the underdog. Believing that the person next to you can achieve their dream just like you can. And he wants to run for president because he thinks the U.S. is at a critical junction where this spirit might be in danger. I believe him. There is such a spirit at America, or at least I feel it. It's the American Beauty. It's a powerful, morally conscious, and incredibly benevolent force. Almost divine. And I also agree with him that the spirit is in jeopardy. There are both domestic and foreign causes for this. But our next president will help determine whether the spirit can live on. We are all human and one. PEACE.
Next entry: something about The Dark Knight
My highlight of the summer was definitely spending the month of July at UCSD for COSMOS.
Some key moments:
-Remember how I talked about Black's Beach, the nude beach near UCSD? Well one class at COSMOS accidentally passed by the beach on the way back from a field trip (what a bad PR move) and found it was full of old naked white people. That's a Eurotrip moment. Yay!
-The last few days of COSMOS, a couple guys in my suite reported hearing a very scary and sinister laugh coming from god knows where past midnight. My roommate heard it around 1:30 a.m. and thought it was coming from a vent on the ceiling but we have no vents in our room. People got really freaked out, and I slept through it each time.
-Girls. Younger than 18. Off limits. Jonathan Chang thought they were hotter than girls he's used to seeing, but I didn't think so. Of course I am quite a connoisseur when it comes to the fine art of woman judging.
-During our four weeks, we had two mandatory COSMOS dances (dance, bitch!). The dances were nothing like I expected. I was really tempted to videotape the whole thing and show it to Mrs. Scott as a cultural exchange program. What happened was a mob of 40-50 people gathered in a tight circle in the center of the dance floor and started rubbing bodies against each other. I don't think it could be considered freaking because when you freak, you are usually aware of who you're interacting with. Not so in this case. This was just a giant orgy that I could not partake in because I was 18. Although... I did get freaked while drinking soda on the benches.
-My nickname. For the latter part of COSMOS, I was called the god of sex. If you are confused, check here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Min_(god)
-My professor was Dr. Carlos Vera. Bioengineering professor at UCSD with a Ph.D/M.D. He was probably the most intelligent person I've ever met. He was pretty shy and quiet but a really nice guy with a good sense of humor. He made us think out of the box and be innovative. He teaches at a medical school in Mexico every morning and then drives up to UCSD to do research. On the last day, he told me I would be an excellent scientist and that he was afraid I would love science so much that I would forget everything else in life. Definitely the biggest compliment thus far.
Yesterday when my dad came home from work, there was a pretty bad vibe between my parents as usual so I decided to take a walk around the apartment complex at night. It was the first time I had done that in a while, and it felt good. Every home has a a light hanging by the door, and when I am walking through the path lined by tall trees, it feels like I am walking in a giant forest and there are tree houses with lights. It's nice to walk by the lighted windows knowing that inside there's someone, someone like me. I wonder about what the people inside are doing and thinking. But they're surviving really, and it's a beautiful thing. I see a family sitting behind a blaring television in the living room and it makes me smile. Yesterday, there was a woman leaning out in the outside patio with a cigarette in her fingers. She was surviving too. You know what I love about airplane flights? When the plane is getting ready for landing and through the window, you see millions and millions of lights: street lights, house lights, car lights, building lights. Yeah you can talk about air pollution but it's a beautiful thing. For every light you see, someone is there. That's our civilization you see. It's like a person is standing there with a torch.
Listening to a section of Barack Obama's Q/A session at Saddleback, I was particularly struck by one thing he said. When asked why he wanted to run for president, he said that there was this American spirit of helping others. Cheering for the underdog. Believing that the person next to you can achieve their dream just like you can. And he wants to run for president because he thinks the U.S. is at a critical junction where this spirit might be in danger. I believe him. There is such a spirit at America, or at least I feel it. It's the American Beauty. It's a powerful, morally conscious, and incredibly benevolent force. Almost divine. And I also agree with him that the spirit is in jeopardy. There are both domestic and foreign causes for this. But our next president will help determine whether the spirit can live on. We are all human and one. PEACE.
Next entry: something about The Dark Knight
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Summertime
I hope everybody's been enjoying their summer. I wish it were a little less hot for a change, but I guess people in Southern California can't complain about the weather. What I've noticed though is that there have not been very many days with that perfect blue sky. I remember in elementary school, I would go play basketball in the summer looking up at that assuring blue hue. Now it's an ugly bleached and lifeless blue, and the positive summer vibe is gone.
What would really restore that positive vibe is if the Lakers made a nice acquisition to bolster their chances of winning the championship next year. Bynum's return is going to make a huge difference, but the Lakers can still make some smart moves to get better. One would be trading away the weed-smoking Lamar Odom, the only player in the history of NBA to be labeled versatile despite playing with one hand. He's a great rebounder and passer but bringing in someone like Gerald Wallace or Ron Artest will increase our defensive intensity. And we could include Luke Walton or Radman as part of the deal. For god sakes, the Clippers are going to sign Baron Davis, and we have our sights set on James Posey.
For all of you going on family vacations to exotic destinations with exotic women wearing exotic clothes, I am jealous. And this statement, in no way, contradicts what I said in my previous post about my sexual drive being dulled by age. Remember that short story called The Most Dangerous Game? It's about General Zaroff, the ruthless hunter, who always tries to find more and more dangerous animals to hunt. Well that's sort of like me and women. I am always looking to challenge myself, and I think it would be pretty damn awesome to go around the world and have a deep conversation with beautiful women in each country. Nothing romantic or sexual. Just a deep conversation where we exchange our cultural juices and expose each other to different perspectives on life. Like Siddhartha said, I would be an eager pupil. But really, that's as far as the hunting analogy goes. I am not suggesting that finding beautiful women is like hunting and capturing animals.
Actually it turns out that I'm going to have much more fun at UCSD than I thought. Boawen informed me a couple weeks ago that there's a nude beach near the college campus. I looked it up online and sure enough, there is a nude beach nearby. The name of the beach, though, is slightly disconcerting- Black's Beach. I may not be allowed in after all. And even if I'm allowed in, I am not sure how I'm going to manage there.
On to other things... you know what word I really hate? Networking. What the fuck is that? To me, networking is everything that's wrong with human interaction. When you sign up for Facebook or Myspace, you have the option of saying you signed up for friends or for networking. I'm glad they differentiate the two. Networking is basically making new friends but doing so with the intention of somehow personally benefiting from the relationship. Networking is a corrupt version of making friends, like the skeeting bugs virus on my computer. It's artificial, contrived, and fake. It's about keeping in touch with people you know and actively befriending their acquaintances so that when there's ever a time you need something, you can ask. And sure, networking is one of those things you have to do in life. It's like having to put on a smile in front of teachers you dislike. And networking obviously has its benefits- you get hook-ups and you have a better chance of accomplishing what you want to do. And sometimes you will even make real friends in the process. But what I hate about networking is that your first and foremost intent is to benefit from the relationship, like a friend is a fucking investment. If you treat people with respect, appreciate them for who they are, and genuinely care about them, chances are
you are going to have a much more lasting and meaningful relationship. Nothing beats friends.
Lately I've been asking a lot of people about what careers they want to pursue. I'm just interested, that's all. My number one career choice is something in the field of natural sciences. Biology, biochemistry, medicine, something along those lines. But I told my mom that if I ever get tired of the schooling or the job, I'm going to be a barber. Maybe I'll go to occupational school for that and then just start working part time at a barbershop. But my dream is to one day open my own barbershop. That'll be so awesome. One day humans may come up with machines that give you the perfect haircut or hair styling and barbershops may become extinct. But I hope not. The job is really special if you think about it. It's one of the few human experiences that feels real... and human. As you are sitting on that chair watching your barber go at it, the barber starts talking to you. About the weather, about their children, about their favorite restaurants. Some barbers are more talkative than others, but they will at least ask you how you are doing. It's a place where you don't feel hurried or rushed. The barber's going to finish when it's finished, and you simply carry on that conversation as long as it lasts. In today's hectic society, not many places offer this refuge. And of course you get to come back in two or three weeks and you reconnect and learn even more about each other. We also take our barbers for granted- imagine if your barber quit all of a sudden. That barber knows your cranium like no one else and you don't want anyone else to cut your hair. That's what a good friend should be like.
What would really restore that positive vibe is if the Lakers made a nice acquisition to bolster their chances of winning the championship next year. Bynum's return is going to make a huge difference, but the Lakers can still make some smart moves to get better. One would be trading away the weed-smoking Lamar Odom, the only player in the history of NBA to be labeled versatile despite playing with one hand. He's a great rebounder and passer but bringing in someone like Gerald Wallace or Ron Artest will increase our defensive intensity. And we could include Luke Walton or Radman as part of the deal. For god sakes, the Clippers are going to sign Baron Davis, and we have our sights set on James Posey.
For all of you going on family vacations to exotic destinations with exotic women wearing exotic clothes, I am jealous. And this statement, in no way, contradicts what I said in my previous post about my sexual drive being dulled by age. Remember that short story called The Most Dangerous Game? It's about General Zaroff, the ruthless hunter, who always tries to find more and more dangerous animals to hunt. Well that's sort of like me and women. I am always looking to challenge myself, and I think it would be pretty damn awesome to go around the world and have a deep conversation with beautiful women in each country. Nothing romantic or sexual. Just a deep conversation where we exchange our cultural juices and expose each other to different perspectives on life. Like Siddhartha said, I would be an eager pupil. But really, that's as far as the hunting analogy goes. I am not suggesting that finding beautiful women is like hunting and capturing animals.
Actually it turns out that I'm going to have much more fun at UCSD than I thought. Boawen informed me a couple weeks ago that there's a nude beach near the college campus. I looked it up online and sure enough, there is a nude beach nearby. The name of the beach, though, is slightly disconcerting- Black's Beach. I may not be allowed in after all. And even if I'm allowed in, I am not sure how I'm going to manage there.
On to other things... you know what word I really hate? Networking. What the fuck is that? To me, networking is everything that's wrong with human interaction. When you sign up for Facebook or Myspace, you have the option of saying you signed up for friends or for networking. I'm glad they differentiate the two. Networking is basically making new friends but doing so with the intention of somehow personally benefiting from the relationship. Networking is a corrupt version of making friends, like the skeeting bugs virus on my computer. It's artificial, contrived, and fake. It's about keeping in touch with people you know and actively befriending their acquaintances so that when there's ever a time you need something, you can ask. And sure, networking is one of those things you have to do in life. It's like having to put on a smile in front of teachers you dislike. And networking obviously has its benefits- you get hook-ups and you have a better chance of accomplishing what you want to do. And sometimes you will even make real friends in the process. But what I hate about networking is that your first and foremost intent is to benefit from the relationship, like a friend is a fucking investment. If you treat people with respect, appreciate them for who they are, and genuinely care about them, chances are
you are going to have a much more lasting and meaningful relationship. Nothing beats friends.
Lately I've been asking a lot of people about what careers they want to pursue. I'm just interested, that's all. My number one career choice is something in the field of natural sciences. Biology, biochemistry, medicine, something along those lines. But I told my mom that if I ever get tired of the schooling or the job, I'm going to be a barber. Maybe I'll go to occupational school for that and then just start working part time at a barbershop. But my dream is to one day open my own barbershop. That'll be so awesome. One day humans may come up with machines that give you the perfect haircut or hair styling and barbershops may become extinct. But I hope not. The job is really special if you think about it. It's one of the few human experiences that feels real... and human. As you are sitting on that chair watching your barber go at it, the barber starts talking to you. About the weather, about their children, about their favorite restaurants. Some barbers are more talkative than others, but they will at least ask you how you are doing. It's a place where you don't feel hurried or rushed. The barber's going to finish when it's finished, and you simply carry on that conversation as long as it lasts. In today's hectic society, not many places offer this refuge. And of course you get to come back in two or three weeks and you reconnect and learn even more about each other. We also take our barbers for granted- imagine if your barber quit all of a sudden. That barber knows your cranium like no one else and you don't want anyone else to cut your hair. That's what a good friend should be like.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
End of Year
Well, we made it. I never thought this day would arrive, but we actually survived junior year at Oxford Academy. Congratulations to everyone. We have (only) one year left. And for Andrew, congratulations on entering college life.
I think we should take this time to look back at the pleasant memories from the year. Don't think back to the shoulda, woulda, coulda's - it doesn't matter now. Treasure the good memories and give yourself a pat on the back for a break well deserved.
Yesterday I went to go watch Kung Fu Panda with my homie Allula. It was a pretty good movie, considering I didn't know what to expect. The opening was the funniest scene in the movie because it was like hearing Will Trinidad talk. I won't spoil it for you by quoting the line. I went out to the movies with my Spiderman tee and Ecko jean-shorts (my "outfit", as Sheena would say). At school and the bonfire, people mentioned that the jeans were definitely cool. Especially the white pockets in the back. They really make my butt stand out by drawing attention to its toastiness and excellent protrusion. My butt is like an Ursa major in a clear summer sky. I think if I try hard enough, I can look like a centaur.
Anyway, an interesting incident happened when I stopped by Marie Calendar's after the movies to pick up a pecan pie. As I approached the entrance, I saw an old white couple and their family members starting to make their way out the door. The woman saw me and my outfit and eyed me warily for a second before turning her eyes away. I think she was suspicious of my character. So I quickened my steps toward the door and held it open before they had reached the door. The woman's eyes widened and she said thank you with the most surprised expression ever. I thought that was great. I am going to continue putting on this outfit when I go to places just to see what kind of reaction I get from people. But then again, maybe just as wrong as stereotyping other people is assuming that other people will make stereotypes. Whatever, I still like my applebottom jeans.
So I promised a post on girls last time I wrote. Unfortunately, I don't have much to say about them anymore. The strange thing about me is, I hit puberty when I was like in 3rd or 4th grade. So now I think I am at a stage where girls' attractiveness doesn't hit me on the head. No girl is too cute or hot or pretty anymore. (Been around the world, seen so many girls...) Starting a few years ago, I used to really dig girls with cool personalities (nice, honest, funny, etc) and I still do, but I think the immediate physiological effect of an encounter with a female has worn off now. I'm getting old. I am pretty sure it will take something special for me to fall in love with a girl again.
Not to make myself a fucking saint here but what I've discovered this year is that I have an irrational concern for the futures and well-being of girls who are cool. Remember that passage from Catcher in the Rye when Holden worries about Jane getting with Stradlater? That's the case for me. I am not concerned about the girl because I am jealous of her meeting up with another guy. I am concerned because she is cool and doesn't deserve to be treated like trash. I also have a tendency to think of girls as emotionally fragile and I always hope that they are protected from emotional hurt. Sometimes, this paternal instinct gets in the way of my interactions with those girls. In online conversations, it's easier/less awkward for me to ask them how they are doing or give them sincere encouragements/advice and stuff, but in real everyday interactions with someone, it's harder to do that. I joke around with girls most of the time and it's fun sometimes but really I would rather be listening to their problems and offering them my help rather than kidding around.
Anyway, on to other things... I suddenly remembered a conversation that I had with Vy , An's older sister, a while back. For anyone who doesn't know Vy, she's a true genius. She is two years up on me in the educational ladder, but she's still younger than me. She had a quote in her profile about how logic trumps feeling: "Reason is also our potential salvation from the vicious and precipitous mass action that rule by emotionalism always seems to entail." The rest of the quote had something about how making decisions based on logic is better than acting out of feeling. I agree with the quote in that logic is clearly the better choice in maintaining an organized society. Laws are possible because of reason, and they secure our cherished ideals like freedom and equality. Reason prevents unfair treatment of others- if all of us thought logically, we would have less wars, less misunderstandings, more productivity, better social relations, etc.
I can't help but think, though, that we should stop drawing such a stark line between reason and emotion. We should learn to employ a healthy dosage of both and not always in disparate situations. Reason teaches us to make the decisions that have the most favorable consequences by mathematical odds, proven cause + effect relationships, previous life experiences, etc. It increases the chance of us achieving the goals we want. For instance, if I'm trying to impress a girl and I know that she likes an apple-flavored perfume and she hates getting flowers, I'm going to make sure I wear an apple-flavored perfume and don't get her flowers. That will increase the chance of me hooking up with the girl. But notice how the reasoning process is directly linked to the emotion. Why am I trying to hook up with the girl in the first place? Because that's my goal. Why is that my goal? Because I like her. You can't use reason to explain that. Reason can tell you what decisions you should make but only your feelings can empower you with the ability to make those decisions.
I am going to be gone for the month of July to study bioengineering at UCSD... but let's hang out before or after then. PEACE.
I think we should take this time to look back at the pleasant memories from the year. Don't think back to the shoulda, woulda, coulda's - it doesn't matter now. Treasure the good memories and give yourself a pat on the back for a break well deserved.
Yesterday I went to go watch Kung Fu Panda with my homie Allula. It was a pretty good movie, considering I didn't know what to expect. The opening was the funniest scene in the movie because it was like hearing Will Trinidad talk. I won't spoil it for you by quoting the line. I went out to the movies with my Spiderman tee and Ecko jean-shorts (my "outfit", as Sheena would say). At school and the bonfire, people mentioned that the jeans were definitely cool. Especially the white pockets in the back. They really make my butt stand out by drawing attention to its toastiness and excellent protrusion. My butt is like an Ursa major in a clear summer sky. I think if I try hard enough, I can look like a centaur.
Anyway, an interesting incident happened when I stopped by Marie Calendar's after the movies to pick up a pecan pie. As I approached the entrance, I saw an old white couple and their family members starting to make their way out the door. The woman saw me and my outfit and eyed me warily for a second before turning her eyes away. I think she was suspicious of my character. So I quickened my steps toward the door and held it open before they had reached the door. The woman's eyes widened and she said thank you with the most surprised expression ever. I thought that was great. I am going to continue putting on this outfit when I go to places just to see what kind of reaction I get from people. But then again, maybe just as wrong as stereotyping other people is assuming that other people will make stereotypes. Whatever, I still like my applebottom jeans.
So I promised a post on girls last time I wrote. Unfortunately, I don't have much to say about them anymore. The strange thing about me is, I hit puberty when I was like in 3rd or 4th grade. So now I think I am at a stage where girls' attractiveness doesn't hit me on the head. No girl is too cute or hot or pretty anymore. (Been around the world, seen so many girls...) Starting a few years ago, I used to really dig girls with cool personalities (nice, honest, funny, etc) and I still do, but I think the immediate physiological effect of an encounter with a female has worn off now. I'm getting old. I am pretty sure it will take something special for me to fall in love with a girl again.
Not to make myself a fucking saint here but what I've discovered this year is that I have an irrational concern for the futures and well-being of girls who are cool. Remember that passage from Catcher in the Rye when Holden worries about Jane getting with Stradlater? That's the case for me. I am not concerned about the girl because I am jealous of her meeting up with another guy. I am concerned because she is cool and doesn't deserve to be treated like trash. I also have a tendency to think of girls as emotionally fragile and I always hope that they are protected from emotional hurt. Sometimes, this paternal instinct gets in the way of my interactions with those girls. In online conversations, it's easier/less awkward for me to ask them how they are doing or give them sincere encouragements/advice and stuff, but in real everyday interactions with someone, it's harder to do that. I joke around with girls most of the time and it's fun sometimes but really I would rather be listening to their problems and offering them my help rather than kidding around.
Anyway, on to other things... I suddenly remembered a conversation that I had with Vy , An's older sister, a while back. For anyone who doesn't know Vy, she's a true genius. She is two years up on me in the educational ladder, but she's still younger than me. She had a quote in her profile about how logic trumps feeling: "Reason is also our potential salvation from the vicious and precipitous mass action that rule by emotionalism always seems to entail." The rest of the quote had something about how making decisions based on logic is better than acting out of feeling. I agree with the quote in that logic is clearly the better choice in maintaining an organized society. Laws are possible because of reason, and they secure our cherished ideals like freedom and equality. Reason prevents unfair treatment of others- if all of us thought logically, we would have less wars, less misunderstandings, more productivity, better social relations, etc.
I can't help but think, though, that we should stop drawing such a stark line between reason and emotion. We should learn to employ a healthy dosage of both and not always in disparate situations. Reason teaches us to make the decisions that have the most favorable consequences by mathematical odds, proven cause + effect relationships, previous life experiences, etc. It increases the chance of us achieving the goals we want. For instance, if I'm trying to impress a girl and I know that she likes an apple-flavored perfume and she hates getting flowers, I'm going to make sure I wear an apple-flavored perfume and don't get her flowers. That will increase the chance of me hooking up with the girl. But notice how the reasoning process is directly linked to the emotion. Why am I trying to hook up with the girl in the first place? Because that's my goal. Why is that my goal? Because I like her. You can't use reason to explain that. Reason can tell you what decisions you should make but only your feelings can empower you with the ability to make those decisions.
I am going to be gone for the month of July to study bioengineering at UCSD... but let's hang out before or after then. PEACE.
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